Sophia: Look at this. I'm a walking time bomb. 230/190. Stand back, I could blow any minute.
Dorothy: Ma, you know that machine is not working.
Sophia: We shouldn't take any chances. I can't be moved. Somebody else will have to give up their room for Rose's family.
Dorothy: You're fine. You're staying with me. You always complain and we always get through it.
Sophia: All right, fine. But I'm begging you, while we're sleeping together, please lay off the broccoli at dinner, huh?

Blanche: Oh, boy, I'd love to put some surprises in my will. Like leaving a small remembrance to each of the men who has brought some special joy or pleasure to my life.
Dorothy: And where would they read that will, Blanche? The Astrodome?
Blanche: Or maybe I'll just do something like, "To my sister Virginia, I hereby bequeath my diamond brooch, my collection of Wedgwood china, and all my stock in AT&T."
Dorothy: You have stock in AT&T?
Blanche: I don't have any of those things, but for one brief moment, Virginia would think she'd hit the jackpot.

Kirsten: Do you wanna give Blanche and Dorothy the presents we brought for them?
Charley: Sure, Mom.
Dorothy: Oh, you didn't have to do that.
Kirsten: Hope you like it. It's very popular in Minnesota. It's a maple syrup, honey, brown sugar, molasses, Rice Krispie log! One for each of you.
Dorothy: How sweet. How incredibly sweet.

Kirsten: Mom, dinner was delicious.
Blanche: Oh, it certainly was. You must have spent all day in that kitchen.
Rose: Oh, no. It's a simple recipe. You just take some mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables and ground lamb and throw them all together. Where we come from, it's called Shepherd's Pie.
Sophia: Where I come from, it's called garbage.

Dorothy: Rose, dinner was wonderful, it truly was!
Rose: Thanks. It was my husband's favorite. Charlie used to ask for it at least once a week.
Blanche: You know, I don't believe George ever requested anything special from me. At least not in the kitchen.
No, that's not entirely true. Once on our anniversary or was it on payday? Anyway, I remember a butcher block table was involved...
Dorothy: Blanche.

Radio: "Please join us when we return to the air at 6 a.m. We now conclude our broadcast day with the Blue Angels Squadron accompanied by our national anthem." [Rose stands as the anthem plays]
Dorothy: At ease, Rose. Come on, honey, why don't you get some sleep?

Dorothy: Oh, Rose. What are you talking about? Is this about Kirsten?
Rose: Oh, Kirsten wouldn't lie. I raised her better than that. Except for a little white lie, but that doesn't really count.
Sophia: Oh, yes, it does! A lie is a lie, which is a sin, which sends you straight to hell! Who told a lie?
Blanche: Oh, who hasn't?
Sophia: Me. I never lie.
Dorothy: Ma, how much did you lose at the dog track last week?
Sophia: None of your business, and that's the truth.

Sophia: That's it! I'm out of here!
Dorothy: Ma, what's the matter?
Sophia: I can't sleep! All night long, tossing and turning! I'd get more rest on Space Mountain!
Dorothy: I'm sorry, Ma. I can't help it.
Sophia: I could live with the tossing and turning. Your cold feet are what's driving me crazy! It's like having two size-nine Fudgesicles pressed up against my butt.

Dorothy: Ma, will you knock it off? I have to get back to sleep.
Rose: Oh, good. I'm so glad you're awake!
Sophia: I'm so glad you're awake! I'm taking my bed back!
Dorothy: Fine! Rose, get into bed. Ma, get out of here, and take your teeth with you!
Sophia: Don't make fun of your mother. If I didn't wake up tomorrow, you'd never forgive yourself!
Dorothy: I'll risk it!

Rose: Dorothy, do you feel like talking?
Dorothy: Oh, honey, if it can wait until morning, I'd really appreciate it. I'm exhausted.
Rose: Sure. I am too. Let's just get some sleep. Dorothy, you're sleeping with a liar.
Dorothy: Don't worry about it, Rose. Most of the people I've slept with were liars. Good night.