Clayton: You mean that, Blanche? Because Doug loves me for what I am, not for what he wants me to be, or wishes I were.
Blanche: I guess I deserve that.
Clayton: I guess you do.
Blanche: Well, Clay, this is very difficult for me. I still can't say I understand what you're doing, but I do intend to try to respect your decision to do it. I want you to be happy.
Clayton: I am happy, Blanche.
Blanche: I know.
Clayton: So, are you telling me you are ready to have a brand-new brother-in-law?
Blanche: I suppose I am. [to Doug] Now, look here. Now, he's not perfect. Has a stubborn streak and a bad temper.
Doug: And he snores.
Blanche: That'll just be our little secret.

Sophia: Uh, at this time, the Awards Committee would like to ask Agnes' dear friend and our favorite runner-up, Rose Nylund, to accept the award for her.
[After a moment's hesitation, Rose reluctantly walks up to the stage. She is silent until Sophia punches her in the arm]
Rose: What a surprise. I am absolutely speechless. Except for the one that I have prepared. Laughter from the audience. What can I say about my good friend Agnes? I'll never forget the last time I spoke to her. She said, "Rose, I don't understand you. You work so much harder than the rest of us." And I remember I said, "Well, couldn't this wait just a minute? I'm reading to the blind."
Sophia: That's enough, Rose.
Rose: Oh, but it's so golden.
Sophia: [wresting the award from Rose] Let it go. Come on, let it go. Let it go, you loser! Thank you, Rose Nylund. Let's give her a big hand.

Clayton: Blanche, how could you do that? What did you mean when you told me that you could accept my being gay? Did you mean it was OK so long as I was celibate? It was OK so long as I don't fall in love? Doug is a part of the family now. My family. And if you don't like it, then you don't have to be a part of my family.

Rose: And the winner of tonight's Volunteer Vanguard Award is Rose Nylund. The crowd goes wild! Oh, thank you. Thank you. What a surprise. I'm absolutely speechless. Except for the one I've prepared. Laughter from the crowd. First of all, I would like to thank all the little people who have made tonight possible. Thank you, little people. Smile for the photographers. Wave to the fans.

Blanche: All right now, baby brother, I've waited all week. Where is it? Where's my surprise?
Doug: Hello, everyone.
Sophia: Surprise.

Blanche: You can just put the luggage over there.
Dorothy: OK.
Blanche: Clay, I don't have any change to tip the driver.
Clayton: Uh, Blanche.
Blanche: I don't know why you took a cab from the airport.
Clayton: Blanche.
Blanche: You should've called me. I would've picked you up.
Clayton: Blanche, this is Doug. He's my friend. My very special friend.
Blanche: Well, any friend of Clay's is- Ah. So.

Dorothy: I'll say this for Clayton, he has great taste. Doug is absolutely charming.
Sophia: And funny. It's not every cop who can do a good Bette Davis impression.

Rose: Blanche, I don't understand you. You can't very well say you've accepted Clayton unless you're willing to accept the fact that he dates.
Dorothy: Rose is right, and besides, Blanche, in this day and age, you should be thrilled that he's in a monogamous relationship.
Blanche: Of course you're right. I've just gotta stop this overreacting. Doug and Clayton are two consenting adults. There's no reason to be embarrassed.

Clayton: Blanche, honey, it's such a beautiful night, Doug and I are gonna go out for little a walk. OK. Don't wait up.
Blanche: Well, enjoy your walk. I'm fine. I'm OK. I can deal with this.
Sophia: Oh, look. They're skipping.
Blanche: Oh, God!
Sophia: Joke! Joke! Just a joke! It's a joke.

Dorothy: I just had the strangest crank call. Some man wanted to know if I owned a riding crop and a leather bra and if I could lick my eyebrows.
Sophia: What did you say?
Dorothy: I said no.
Sophia: I guess we're paying full price for the cocktail franks.