Rose: Good news. Clayton and Doug said they'd love to go to the banquet with us.
Blanche: What? Oh, are you out of what is left of your mind? Why did you invite them?
Rose: Well, I want everybody there for my moment of triumph. And it'll be a lot of fun.
Blanche: Fun? Don't you understand? They will be there together.
Dorothy: But, Blanche, they're here together.
Blanche: Well, Dorothy, that's different. We're talking about going out in public. Oh, what are people gonna say?
Clayton: Probably nothing we haven't heard before.
Blanche: Oh, Clay, I was just telling the girls-
Clayton: We heard what you were telling them, Blanche, and I am truly sorry you feel that way.

Clayton: It'll be a simple ceremony, just exchanging rings and affirming our commitment to each other in front of our friends. I mean, it's not like it's gonna be a big, fancy wedding.
Doug: Although we are registered at Neiman Marcus.
Blanche: Well, you have pulled some stunts in your day, Clayton Hollingsworth, but this takes the cake. I cannot believe what I just heard. I refuse to have any part of this!
Clayton: Oh, Blanche. Oh! Blanche!

Sophia: So, Butch, Sundance who gets to throw the bouquet?

Dorothy: Rose, they're about to announce the winner.
Rose: I wish Blanche would've come to see me win my award.
Dorothy: Honey, this thing with Doug and Clayton has been pretty rough on her.
Rose: Just to bring me up to speed, it's the brother-marrying- a-gay-cop-thing, right?
Dorothy: That's a big part of it.
Rose: I don't see what the problem is. I think they make a lovely couple. Well, maybe "lovely" isn't the right word.
They certainly make a husky couple.

Sophia: May I have your attention, please? We have now come to the moment you've been waiting for, but before we hand out the award, I just want to thank all those people who made this evening possible. Especially my daughter, Dorothy. Dorothy, stand up and take a bow.
Dorothy: [whistling] If I'm not mistaken, all the waiters were whistling at me.
Blanche: Maybe they never saw anyone eat a steak that fast.

Susan: It's so good to see you again, Blanche. And who have we here? Hello, I'm Susan Dodd.
Clayton: I'm Clayton, Blanche's brother.
Doug: And this is Doug, he's my-
Blanche: Fire! Fire! Everybody out! Small fire. It's out now. So, who's for decaf?
Sophia: Smooth!

Blanche: Rose, honey, you feeling better?
Rose: I'm still so ashamed.
Blanche: Oh, Rose, nobody's gonna remember you even making that scene. When we left, everybody was still talking about Dorothy leading that busboy conga line. Besides, there's always next year.
Rose: Well, I've made a decision. I'm gonna throw myself into charity. I'm gonna spend all my free time making other people's lives better. I lost sight of the real goal. It isn't about fancy banquets. It isn't about getting your name in the paper. It isn't about winning the award next year.
Blanche: There now, that's the spirit.
Rose: It's about getting that dead woman's name off of this one. [takes out award]

Blanche: We have to talk.
Clayton: There is nothing for us to talk about.
Blanche: I wasn't speaking to you. I have just one question for you.
Doug: OK.
Blanche: Do you love him?
Doug: What do you mean?
Blanche: Well, you see, he's my baby brother, and I've always felt it was my responsibility to look out for him. So, I can't just let him get married to just anybody. So, do you love him?
Doug: I do. Very much.
Blanche: Well, good, 'cause so do I.

Blanche: Sophia, I think I see what you're getting at.
Sophia: I don't think you do. Blanche, will you marry me?
Blanche: Thank you, Sophia. I need to go talk to them.
Sophia: Fine. But I'll need an answer. I'm not gonna wait for you forever.