Blanche: Can I make y'all some lunch?
Dorothy: Sure. What are you fixing?
Blanche: Fruit salad.
Rose: That sounds good. I'll go get Sophia.
Blanche: Oh, no. Don't bother. She has no appetite since she was stabbed in the back.
Rose: Oh, my God. Who stabbed Sophia?
Dorothy: The chef at Benihana, Rose! Angela.

Sophia: Angela, why don't you sit down. I'll serve dessert.
Dorothy: Gosh, you two make such a fantastic meal, I can't imagine what came up with for dessert.
Rose: I made dessert.
Blanche: Damn.
Rose: What'd you say, Blanche?
Blanche: Yum, I said yum.

Dorothy: Hi, Rose, what you got there?
Rose: Just a little snack. Darn, I forgot something. [exits]
Dorothy: [eats a handful] Not bad. What is it?
Rose: I'm not sure. The pet store calls it Chicken Chow.

Dorothy: I wish you'd try to be patient, Ma. I mean, she's out right with Blanche now looking at another place.
Sophia: And how many places has she seen in the past three weeks? Every place is "too small," "not enough light," "no room for a goat." She'll be here for ever. It's just like I told you, whatever I have, she wants.

Rose: My God, it can't be. It is. Count Bessie.
Dorothy: Angela, that chicken that you cooked the other night, didn't you say you got it out of the garage?
Angela: Yes, right.
Blanche: You mean out of a cage?
Angela: No, out of the freezer. You think I know how to kill a live chicken? Who do I look like, Conan the Barbarian?

Tony: Hey, hey, hey. What's going on here?
Sophia: Taking a shower, huh? I suppose this is your loofah sponge.
Tony: What are you talking about?
Sophia: You toyed with my emotions. You toyed with my affection. And worst of all, you toyed with my sister.
Tony: That's not true, Sophia. Angela's just my roommate. You're the only woman in my life. There can be no-one else but you, dear.
Sophia: Oh, Tony. Oh, Angela. Oh, boy, who is that woman?
Tony: Oh, this woman. Oh, she's my cleaning lady.
Sophia: What?
Woman: You told me I was "the only woman in your life".

Dorothy: Rose?
Rose: Yes, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Is that a chicken you're carrying in that cage?
Rose: Gee, I think it is. See you.
Blanche: Rose.
Rose: Before you all say no-
Dorothy & Blanche: No!

Blanche: Just be sure and keep her in her cage.
Rose: Maybe I can convince the Count to give us some live entertainment with dessert. Have you any requests?
Blanche: How about Bye Bye Birdie?

Dorothy: So, what are you doing here?
Angela: Well, I took a vacation to come and see you. Didn't you get my letter?
Dorothy: No. We never got a letter.
Sophia: [whispering] She never sent it. She forgets.
Angela: I don't forget anything.
Rose: Hi, Angela.
Angela: Hi, Blanche.
Blanche: No, I'm Blanche.
Angela: Doesn't that make it confusing, having two Blanches in the same house?

Angela: Come on in the kitchen. I made dinner. It should be ready.
Sophia: I was gonna cook dinner.
Angela: Well, I thought, for a change, everybody would like to have a meal with a little flavor.
Sophia: I'm supposed to get along with that?