Blanche: Oh, all right, all right, maybe he's not perfect, but I happen to be in a little dating slump right now. I'm just happier having a man who isn't perfect than looking around for one who is.
Dorothy: That's what Bush told everyone when he was choosing a vice president.

Blanche: Ernie, you notice how I keep interrupting you? It's because I don't want to hear what you're gonna tell me. He called and canceled again, didn't he?
Ernie: Sorry, Blanche. He told me to buy you anything you liked.
Blanche: Oh, really? Well, then, get out your phone book and open it to the jewelry section.

John: It's no fun being stood up, is it?
Blanche: Listen, mister, if you're looking for a quick score because you think I'm down, then you can just think again.
John: As a matter of fact, I was looking for a little sympathy. Got stood up myself tonight. Cross my heart. What's left of it.
Blanche: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just so darn angry. My name's Blanche.
John: John. John Quinn. How do you do? I don't know about you, but I sure feel too old to be stood up.
Blanche: You're not the only one. This is the fourth time that man has canceled. He just found somebody better, that's all.
John: Oh, Blanche.
Blanche: Yes, he did. Somebody younger and prettier.
John: Blanche, it can't be.
Blanche: Well, maybe you're right. Somebody younger and as pretty.

John: Yeah, I think tonight may be the night I finally learned my lesson. No more dates for a long time.
Blanche: You mean that?
John: I do.
Blanche: Well, all right, then. I'm with you. No more dates. Here's looking at you.

John: This is embarrassing. I gotta be the clumsiest guy on earth.
Blanche: No.
John: You don't happen to know a good dry cleaner, do you?
Blanche: Oh, only the best. You know Andre's on Elm?
John: Sure.
Blanche: Well, Andre takes his clothes to this place. I'll write it down for you.

John: I'm glad it was red wine and not white.
Blanche: Why? White's easier to get out.
John: I know, but I spilled red meat on this jacket at lunch, and I wouldn't want your dry cleaner to think I was gauche.

John: Blanche?
Blanche: Yes?
John: I know you're gonna think I'm a hypocrite for this, but is there any way I could call you for dinner sometime?
Blanche: Only one way I can think of.
John: What?
Blanche: By looking at that napkin. My number's on it. Good night.

Dorothy: Oh, how do you do, John? I'm Dorothy. I'm Blanche's other roommate.
John: Hello, Dorothy.
Sophia: And I'm her gorgeous 22-year-old cousin. Hey, how many chances do I get?

John: Blanche, was there something you didn't realize the other night?
Blanche: Oh, you mean about you being blind, you mean? Oh, goodness, no, of course I knew that. I'm not blind. Not that there's anything wrong in that. C-C-Course, there's nothing so good about it, either. Could we just go?
John: Great. What restaurant are we headed to?
Blanche: Harvey's at the shore. Do you know it?
John: No, I don't.
Blanche: Oh, you'll love it. It has a gorgeous view.

Rose: Okay, in this formation you're lined up in a wishbone with the U-back in motion. Any questions so far?
Freddy: I've got a question, Coach Rose. Am I an X or an O?
Rose: You're an O, Freddy. The other team are the X's, and you're all O's.
Sophia: It's easy to remember. It's the number of points you scored this season.