Blanche: Oh, what difference does it make? My social life's gone down the drain anyway. All I ever do is study.
You know, it cannot be good for you. It's unnatural, it's unhealthy, it's unlike me. No wonder I can't concentrate. I need a break. I need a change of scenery.I need to hit Wally's Bar for Ladies' Night. I'll see you all later. Don't you girls wait up.
Rose: Hold it, Blanche. I don't think you should go anywhere till you finish your homework.
Blanche: Oh, I'll just be gone a few hours.
Dorothy: You get right back here and hit those books.
Rose: If you want a diploma, you have to apply yourself. Do you think Bob Hope got all those degrees without studying?

Rose: What ever happened to your teacher Mrs. Lenoff?
Dorothy: Oh, gosh. Last I heard, she retired from teaching, opened a bed and breakfast someplace in Wode Island. Rhode Island.

Blanche: Professor Cooper?
Professor Cooper: Yes? What can I do for you?
Blanche: If I might have a minute of your time. 'Course, if now's not convenient, I can-
Professor Cooper: No, no, please, please, sit. I'm all ears.
Blanche: Don't sell yourself short.

Professor Cooper: Well, Blanche, considering that you flunked the midterm, you'll need an A on the final exam to even pass my class, and the odds on that seem pretty slim.
Blanche: But you see, I have to have these credits to get my degree.
Professor Cooper: Well, it's gonna take a lot of hard work on your part.
Blanche: You mean, like extra credit?
Professor Cooper: Well, you could say that.
Blanche: That's fine. I'm ready, willing, and able. I'll do whatever I have to.
Professor Cooper: Oh, I like your attitude, Blanche. This is my home phone number. Now, if you really want that degree, you'll use it. You catch my drift?
Blanche: Oh. Oh.

Blanche: Oh, girls, I am devastated, just devastated.
Dorothy: Honey, what happened?
Blanche: I asked my teacher for help, like you all told me to. He said the only way I would get an A on his final is if I sleep with him.
Rose: No!
Blanche: Oh, yes. I just don't know what to do.
Sophia: Get it in writing.

Blanche: Dean Tucker, my name is Blanche Deveraux, and I have something extremely important to discuss with you.
Dean Tucker: Could this wait till next week? I've only been dean here for a couple of days. I haven't got a secretary, I can't get my parking validated. I don't even know where the restroom is.
Blanche: I was sexually harassed by Professor Cooper.
Dean Tucker: Oh, don't do this to me. Please, I beg you. Look- We'll look into this first thing Monday morning.
Blanche: It can't wait.
Dean Tucker: You're right. We'll do something immediately. We'II, uh, we'll fill out a form. There must be one in here somewhere. OK, Sexual Discrimination, Sexual Education Sexual Harassment. OK, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions. Well, Lord, I can't ask you this. I can't even ask my own wife this. I'd like to.

Blanche: Oh, hello, Rose.
Rose: Blanche, you won't believe what happened to me today. It was so exciting. I've been waiting for somebody to come home so long, I thought I was gonna burst.
Blanche: You won't believe what happened to me today in the dean's office.
Rose: I was driving down Biscayne Boulevard, listening to WREQ, the big band station. I usually listen to WXDC, all talk radio, but this morning, a little voice told me to turn the dial, so I did, and I tuned in right in the middle of this contest. They were looking for the 12th caller. Well, twelve has always been my lucky number. So I pulled over and I got my change ready, I always keep two dimes in the crook of the door handle for emergencies, and by the time I got through, I was the 12th caller. I won four tickets to the Frank Sinatra concert!

Dorothy: Three tickets to Old Blue Eyes. It's finally going to happen.
Rose: But, Dorothy-
Dorothy: Rose, please. I went down to the auditorium today and out front, I saw a kid scalping tickets to this woman. So I figured this is my last chance. I raced over, took her aside, explained to her how much I'd always wanted to see Sinatra. And guess what? She let me buy the tickets!
Rose: It was that easy, just 'cause you said how much you wanted to see Frank Sinatra?
Dorothy: Yeah, that and that I only had three weeks to live.
Rose: Dorothy!
Dorothy: These are desperate times, Rose.

Blanche: I've decided I have to do it myself. Since the dean was no help whatever, I've decided the only one who can help me is me. I'm going to show that Professor Cooper something. Now if you'll excuse me, ladies, I have some tall studying to do. Only first I think, as a reward for working so hard, I'll make myself an ice cream sundae. Rose, I suggest you leave the room. I may get a little crazy with the chopped nuts.

Sophia: My brilliant daughter scalped the tickets to an undercover policeman.
Dorothy: Ma, get off my back, huh?
Sophia: You're lucky I was with you. You'd still be in the slammer if I hadn't faked that heart attack.