Dave Kim: By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?
Adam: Ceremonial.
Jackie: Cut.
Adam: So how'd we do?
Jackie: May I just point out how incredibly flawed the gender politics of all of this is?
Adam: Please don't judge me. I just have an unhealthy desire to live in each and every John Hughes movie.

Dave Kim: I'm just hoping this actually works and we magically create a foxy babe for me to smooch on.
Adam: Wait, you do realize none of this is real.
Dave Kim: Let Dave Kim have this.

Murray: I hate this humidity. It feels like someone opened up a dishwasher mid-cycle in my pants.
Beverly: You can change your swampy chinos when you get to Erica's room.
Murray: Got it. [running away]

Beverly: Bye. Bye, now. Ta-ta. See you on the flip-flop.
Erica: What are you doing?
Beverly: Practicing the different ways of saying goodbye. It's gonna be very hard when that day comes.
Erica: That day is now.

Beverly: Oh, there she is. There's my baby. Erica, this is Srini, your R.A..
Erica: Hi. I'm Erica. I hope my mom is behaving.
Srini: Um, she's, uh... Ah...
Erica: So, what room am I in?
Srini: Um, 103 with Erica Coolidge. Oh, no. You're both named Erica. Please don't be mad.
Beverly: It's crazy how much you care. Erica, you're in very good hands.

Erica: I thought that we could hang out and get to know each other.
Other Erica: I feel like I already know you because your mom's been telling me, like, a lot of stories.
Erica: Why are my parents still here?
Other Erica: Your dad napped and then took a cab back to the hotel. He's a sweaty man. Anyway, like, bye.

Adam: Hey, handsome. Just for fun, and no other reason, what qualities are you looking for in a lover?
Barry: Wait, why are you asking me about beautiful bikini babes?
Adam: I just thought, maybe, I could help you find a new girlfriend to start your year of awesome.
Barry: What would I let someone who wears my butt as a hat set me up with a girl?

Barry: Watch out, Kelly LeBrock. Big Tasty's comin' for ya.

Adam: Why would you lie like that?
Mr. Connelly: Between you and me, I have a butt-wad of an older brother, too.
Adam: You know, I'm using that movie to find him a girlfriend so he won't beat me up.
Mr. Connelly: Would he actually fall for that?
Barry: Dude, come on! Let's go make me this girl already.
Adam: Every week, he surprises us.

Erica: What are you doing?
Beverly: Assembling your safety credenza. First aid, fire ladder, canned foods, powdered milk, and a handheld siren to alert rescuers when you're caught in rubble. It's really loud. Want to hear?
Erica: I am in college. I don't need any credenzas.