Beverly: Ta-da!
Erica: This seems concerning.
Beverly: I made it look just like your old bedroom so you wouldn't get homesick. Oh, I even brought Donnie, your favorite new boy in the neighborhood.
Erica: He's a New Kid on the Block, he doesn't belong here, and neither do you.

Beverly: Oh, I can't leave now. It's dark outside.
Erica: So?
Beverly: So, I have horrible night vision and can't get behind the wheel.
Erica: You have a perfectly good bed back at your motel. You need to get in the car and go.
Beverly: And miss a turn and hit a semi and flip the car and end up pinned under the steering wheel while the station wagon burns around me? Is that what you want for your mother?

Adam: Too bad, 'cause my plan was to "Weird Science" you up a hot girl.
Barry: Dude, a computer can't really do that.
Adam: It can do anything. Did you know a computer just defeated the world's greatest chess champion?
Barry: In chess?
Adam: Yes!
Barry: No! Why wasn't I told?! Stupid Dan Rather!

Pops: What are my responsibilities here, again?
Adam: I needed bras, and you're the only guy I knew who could get them.

Barry: What the hell, man? You promised me a lady. I already spent a fortune on candles and erotic oils!

Beverly: Fine. I'll go. Right after brunch, and then we'll spend a few hours at the Smithsonian, and then to top it all off, you have to give mama all the kisses.
Erica: You can forget about getting all the kisses.
Beverly: Not even butterfly?
Erica: No!
Beverly: Surely, Eskimo kisses are still on the table.
Erica: You will never again experience the warm nose-love of our chilly, Native friends.
Beverly: That is literally the worst thing a daughter has ever said to a mother.

Barry: Carla? Are you insane? She's a loose cannon, and not the good kind like a vigilante cop who endlessly frustrates his commissioner.
Carla: It's true. The court-appointed psychiatrist gave up on me.
Barry: I didn't even know you liked me.
Carla: I don't. But he dated Lainey, and she's my rival, so I'm taking what's hers. Give me her address so I can send her photos of us in love.
Barry: No. I don't want this aggressive loony toon as my special lady.

Other Erica: That's a cute photo.
Erica: It was the first day of kindergarten. I was so scared, and she stayed with me the whole day.
Other Erica: That's a good mom.
Erica: Damn it, why do I miss her? Seriously, something's wrong with me.
Other Erica: I mean, yeah, your folks are weird and intrusive, but they were here. My parents were too busy to come.
Erica: And that's bad?
Other Erica: I didn't think it was until I saw your mother cared enough to bring your home right here. You're lucky.

Erica: Listen, I know it's hard to say goodbye, which is why I'm giving you a very generous three hours to part ways. Cool?
Beverly: Not cool. I need 6 to 20.

Adam: Hey, that's my serving of fruit for the day.
Barry: Oh, then maybe you should have some punch.
Adam: Ow!