Beverly: What? You're home from school already? What a surprise. I was just going through these beautiful handwritten cards you gave me almost a year ago exactly. Maybe you should come and take a closer look at this cards, get a sense of what they're about and how they make me feel?
Barry: Enough jibber-jabber. I need a pre-dinner meal, maybe something that'll lay a nice base, like pancakes.
Beverly: Screw it. I give up. Murray, you are taking me to that Latin place on Saturday night, and we are gonna cha-cha 'cause these kids are ungrateful.
Murray: No, I am not going to cha-cha.
Beverly: Oh, you will cha-cha, and I will be dipped. And you won't drop me this time.

Murray: All right, you've had enough fun, you morons. Go tell your mom that you know it's Mother's Day.
Erica: Aw, but we look forward to torturing her all year long.
Barry: It's one of our better family traditions.

Barry: Here comes a tearful hug. Sacrifice the nerd and run!
Beverly: Oh, my favorite!
Adam: Tell my story!

Barry: Dad, I demand you give me the remote and go make us nachos as we watch your TV without you.
Murray: No.
Lainey: Did you really think that would work?
Barry: Yes!

Barry: Now we're gonna miss the whole movie.
Naked Rob: I got a Sony Watchman. All we need is nine batteries.
Andy: All we need is nine batteries.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Turns out, "The Day After" was a terrifying and all-too-real depiction of a small town just like ours facing the fallout after the President waged a horrible nuclear war.
Naked Rob: Too real.
Matt: War is bad.
Andy: So scared.
Geoff: I'll never be okay.

Jackie: Oh, my God. How are you? I had nightmares all night.
Adam: I didn't watch the movie. I spent the night organizing my Garbage Pail Kids into a protective binder. Don't want you to feel like things are going too fast, but this is our nest egg.

Dave Kim: Oh, my God, she just invited you down the shore!
Adam: I know, Dave Kim.
Dave Kim: But your mom will never say yes.
Adam: I know, Dave Kim!
Dave Kim: You gotta think of something.
Adam: I know, Dave Kim.

Erica: This is pandering garbage! You can't do this.
Adam: Why not?
Erica: Because I'm working on my own pandering garbage so that Mom will let me go to college 5,000 miles away. Emory is in Georgia. That's why I need to ask her on Mother's Day, when she's all buttered up and distracted.

Adam: Did you like my movie, Mama?
Beverly: I loved it so much, I wanna crush your little face!