Virginia Kremp: Hi, Barry.
Barry: I'm not Barry, I'm Bronco.
Matt: Colt.
Naked Rob: Tex.
Andy: Andy's fine.

Emcee: [o.s.] Okay, cowboys and cowgirls, time to hit the dance floor!
Barry: Mom, you sure you wanna do this? It's harder than it looks.
Beverly: Please, Barry. Disco, salsa, break, belly... There isn't a dance I haven't mastered. [grunts] Let's go.

Jane Bales: Beverly, you're here. Did one of these fine men throw a rope around you and try to take you to auction? If that's not clear, I'm suggesting...
Beverly: It's clear. I love your 10-gallon hat and your 20-gallon skirt. If that wasn't clear...
Jane Bales: It's clear!

Pop-Pop: Hey, there he is.
Adam: Yo, daddy-o, how's it cookin'?
Pop-Pop: You're not at work. Don't talk like that.
Adam: Dig it.
Pop-Pop: Where you going? Wheel is on.
Adam: Can't. I gotta bone up on my diner lingo. Did you know "Adam and Eve on a raft" is toast and eggs? So folksy and unnecessary.

Pop-Pop: Eh, not sure about this job.
Erica: What are you talking about? This is great for him.
Geoff: Yeah, he pulled himself out of his rut so fast. Erica went ungroomed for months.
Erica: We covered that part of my past, Geoff.
Geoff: I had to buy a horse-mane brush from the feed shop.
Erica: Yep, peaks and valleys. We all got 'em.
Geoff: Once, I saw her make a Cheetos sandwich. Before she took a bite she told it, it was her best friend.
Erica: That cheesy, crunchy sandwich is definitely topping you right now.

Pop-Pop: That was too close to Marlon Brando.
Adult Adam: He changed tables.
Pop-Pop: Tomatoes are too wet.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] He sent back food.
Pop-Pop: And, Marilyn, you were never good enough for DiMaggio. Not even close!
Carla: I don't know or care who that is.
Adult Adam: And, of course, the service was not to his liking.
Pop-Pop: Oh, thanks for remembering me. I had to yell at that guy who was dressed like Frank Sinatra.
Adam: That's just a guy with blue eyes.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, Country-Western music swept the nation, from Dolly Parton to Reba McEntire. The cowboy hats and line dancing even found their way to suburban Philly.
Joanne: JTP? What are you doing here?
Matt: We came to see if Barry wanted to go to the campus pool and watch the ladies diving team.
Andy: We're extremely lonely, and it's currently not illegal.
Naked Rob: Tell me if this is a good pick-up line... "Nice splash, toots."
Joanne: It's not.

Barry: [o.s.] I hear the JTP! I'm not coming down!
Joanne: You have to, honey! We kiss, so you do the things I want.
Barry: [sighs] Fine! But I don't want to hear so much as a peep from anyone!
[Barry walks down the stairs in his country and western-inspired outfit]
Matt: Tarnation!
Andy: Holy cowboy.
Naked Rob: Very pale rider.

Adam: What's going on in your world, my grumpy gramps?
Pop-Pop: Sorting buttons.
Adam: Why?
Pop-Pop: So they're in groups. Enough with the questions, Joe Friday.
Adam: Ooh, a swirly one.
Pop-Pop: Beginner's luck. Less talkin', more sortin'.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] So I started spending more time with the only person who had nowhere else to go.

Adam: Need help with Muriel? Nope? Cool.
Erica: Dude, I wouldn't let you near our child right now. She poops herself and she's cleaner than you.
Adam: [chuckles] Roger that.
Geoff: Uh, Erica, what is going on with him?
Erica: Remember when I dropped out of college and I sank into a slovenly self-hating abyss?
Geoff: Oh, no. That was such an unappealing time for you.
Erica: Not my point. But, yes, we have to help him.
Geoff: Yeah.