Murray: Fine. Forget the hair, okay? Just go up and wash it out.
Beverly: It's a perm, Murray. It's permanent. Why do you think they call it a perm? Da-doi.
Murray: Wait. This is permanent? So, the pain will never stop?

Adam: Unbelievable. All those college movies lied to us. "Back to School," "Soul Man," "Animal House."
Chad Kremp: I didn't see one toga the entire weekend.
Dave Kim: And, honestly, how can Rodney Dangerfield have a hot tub in his dorm?
Sergei: It would be plumbing nightmare.

Erica: So, who's ready for some Styx?
Srini: Play "Mr. Roboto!"
Erica: "Come Sail Away" it is.

Barry: I don't understand. I wanted lush, bouncy curls, but it just won't work.
Naked Rob: Don't sweat it. We'll still let you be a part of the JTP.
Matt: Which now stands for the Jenkintown perms.
All: JTP!
Geoff: The curliest crew around.

Erica: A bit of good news, I booked my first real gig tonight, the big kegger at Kappa Mu. It turns out that the Styx cover band "Twygs" bailed and they found my flyer in the trash.
Professor: Well, that changes everything. Except your grade, which is still an "F."
Erica: No, no, no, no. All good. Good luck. Oh, I don't need it. I am gonna ace this sucker, because I love movies. ... Who do I know who loves movies?

Adam: [answering the phone] Uh, yello?
Erica: Oh, thank God. Just the wonderful man I was looking for.
Adam: You do know this is Adam, right?
Erica: Of course. I was just calling to check in on my handsome guy who knows how to type. Speaking of, do you know anything about the movie "Blade Runner"?
Adam: You're jumping around a ton, but it's one of my favorites.
Erica: Come visit right now.
Adam: Seriously?
Erica: Totally. I miss you, like, so much.
Adam: That makes my heart happy.
Erica: Okay, great. Get your little tush on a bus, 'kay? Bye-bye now.

Murray: But you already have a job. You sub at the school.
Beverly: Please, I only did that so I could stalk the kids during school hours.
Barry: You swore taking that job had nothing to do with us.
Beverly: I was lying. Da-doi. Nope, still doesn't work.

Beverly: John, I'm embarking on a Bevolution. I would like you to be my guide. This will, without a doubt, be the most important meeting of your life.
Mr. Glascott: Um, I'm already in a meeting.
Johnny Atkins: It's cool. I'll leave. It's just, for the first time ever, I was thinking about going to college.
Mr. Glascott: Please leave.

Mr. Glascott: My God. It's always been my dream as a guidance counselor to actually one day guide somebody.
Beverly: What's next?
Mr. Glascott: Read this.
Beverly: "What Color is Your Parachute?" I don't know. "A practical manual for job hunters and career changers."
Mr. Glascott: And from what I've read on the back cover, a lot of people think it's a game changer.

Erica: Uh, what's with the freak show?
Adam: I brought my whole crew. Thought they could share in the weekend's "Animal House" style shenanigans.
Dave Kim: Can you point us to the nearest bikini car wash/ anti-war-protest?