Pops: You look a bit like your mother.
Barry: So I'm beautiful? Damn it! Next!

Pops: It's Boss Pig from that show with the gal whose entire character is she wears jean shorts.
Barry: I do look like a boss. Go stupider.

Pops: That is ill-fitting.
Barry: This just makes my already-broad shoulders broader. Curse your generous gifts, God!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And just like that, my dad dragged me into brainstorming how to be more involved with his wife.
Adam: Looking past the obvious weirdness, can I ask why your adult best friend is on my bed?
Bill Lewis: You're lucky, little man... you got the best mattress in the whole house.
Adam: And you know that because...
Bill Lewis: Oh, I water your plants when you're out of town, but the details aren't important. What's important is getting the Mur-man back in your mama's good graces.

Murray: Exactly. You two morons seem to keep your women happy, so I thought I could ask you both for some tips.
Adam: My first tip would be to not go to your child for advice on intimacy.
Murray: And your second tip?
Adam: Just get in that hot tub with her.
Bill Lewis: Amen to that, Mur. Hop in that lobster pot with your lady. Sooth the aches and pains of your body and marriage. Also, what happens under that foam... Oh, boy.

Adam: Just to hit the fast-forward, maybe a love note would do the trick.
Murray: I get hand cramps and don't want to. What else you got?
Bill Lewis: How about a moonlit stroll?
Murray: Well, I do go out at night to the mailbox. Uh, she's more than welcome to follow me. But that is really my only alone time, so I say no.
Adam: Oh, my God. You are so bad at this.
Murray: Because these ideas are terrible.
Bill Lewis: Look, buddy, it's normal. Things get tired. Happens to everybody.
Adam: But here's the good news. Your laziness as a husband is so profound that even the smallest gesture is gonna make a big difference to Mom.
Murray: A small gesture? That's just slightly more than I already do. I can do that.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While my dad was gonna show my mom he could change, Barry was gonna show his friends the new him.
Barry: Attention, fashion elite! Barrington has arrived.
Geoff: Who's Barrington? And what are you wearing?
Barry: You noticed my ensemble. This is my new forever look. And you thought your hat was stupid.
Geoff: I didn't.
Barry: Well, I'm taking stupid to new and exciting heights.

Andy: I don't think so, Bar. You look kind of amazing.
Naked Rob: Really amazing. In fact, I'm kind of regretting this very hot, cumbersome coat I'm wearing. I've taken like three sports bets today, and I have no idea what to do with the money.
Andy: Yeah, and I don't like how exposed I have to get when I pee.

Barry: What? This can't be happening. How could I be even more attractive?
Geoff: Because, Bar, you sincerely look good. And you should feel good, too.
Barry: Well, I hate the way I look, and I hate the way you look, too.
Andy: They're just clothes, man.
Barry: It's not just the clothes. It's everything. College, living on our own, new jobs, new girlfriends. Matt Bradley isn't even here anymore.
Naked Rob: Matt's actually coming back tonight.
Barry: Please, he's never coming back. San Francisco has it all. Cable cars, Alcatraz, earthquakes. It's paradise.

Beverly: What were you thinking?
Murray: I was thinking I would get a smooch from my wife, not a fruit knife in my arm.
Beverly: You're lucky my survival instincts didn't fully kick in. I would've finished you off.
Murray: How am I lucky?! I've got a new hole in my body.
Beverly: Imagine if I'd been chopping an onion. You'd have a chef's knife in your heart, and I would be a beautiful widow with a long line of eligible suitors standing outside the door.
Murray: The door to your jail cell.
Beverly: No jury would ever believe that you would do something sweet and spontaneous.
Murray: But at least I tried. And what did it get me? A moldy basement and a light stabbing.