Adam: Please give up. I can't feel my arms.
Barry: Just let it hit the ground. You let it hit the ground. I have a Spanish test in the morning I'm gonna fail 'cause of you.
Pops: Someone let it hit the ground and end this fekakte game already.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was April 26, 1980-something, the day my dad was honored as one of Jenkintown's top businessmen. His speech was one that said little while meaning even less.
Murray: I can't remember that customer's name. Um... Well... No. Point being is, that's why you always sell end tables separately. Well, thank you so much for the award and for lunch. It was... Yeah.

Beverly: Ooh, look! They're hanging your plaque, Mur. I'm literally kvelling out of every pore of my body.

Beverly: Murray, the whole town is gonna see this, and they're gonna think the businessman of the year is a lazy lump.
Murray: I'd say more of a lovable loaf.

Adam: We need Erica. Go get Erica.
Barry: Dude, you heard her. She's done dealing with our awesome hijinks.
Adam: I think this is less hijinks and more of a felony.
Barry: We should run.

Pops: Hey, hey. Who's ready to fill his hobby hole?
Murray: Okay, I don't have a hole. And if I did have a hole, I wouldn't want to fill it with a hobby.

Beverly: Come on, we'll find a fun hobby that you and I can do together, like, uh, scrapbooking.
Murray: Huh?
Beverly: Jazzercise?
Murray: Right.
Beverly: Power walking?
Murray: "Power walking"?!
Beverly: Couponing?
Murray: Coupo- What the hell's- Well, what's that?
Beverly: It's a way to save money.
Murray: Oh. All right, I'll do that one.
Beverly: Really? I mean, there's so many better things we could do where we'd be outside, getting fresh air-
Murray: No, I want to do the one where we save money.

Adam: Erica, I need your help.
Erica: Bup, bup. We discussed this. My days of looking after you are done. You're a man now, right?
Adam: Thing is, in this case, I feel more like a scared little boy who needs his big sister.
Erica: God, no! Just pretend it's next year and I'm at college. What do you do then?
Adam: Call you on a special red phone so you can rush home and fix my dumb mistakes?
Erica: Look at me. There is no red phone. I am far away, living an awesome life without you.
Adam: What about the house mother in your sorority? Can she give you the message between bikini tickle-fights?
Erica: You really need to stop watching "USA Up All Night" boobie movies.

Barry: Okay, we're just gonna abandon this thing by the clubhouse, and they'll never know the difference.
Adam: Wow. This plan actually can work. I'm so glad you're my new Erica.
Barry: Your what?
Adam: I'm just saying, with her ditching me, you're now entirely responsible for my future and safety.
Barry: Noice.

Barry: Now, let's floor this bad boy and jump that hill again.
Adam: Uh, not to second-guess you, New Erica, but we've already tried this, and it went real bad for us.
Barry: But the new cart is so much sleeker, Adam. It has a janitor broom on the back that acts as a wing to lift us to the heavens.
Adam: There's no way you believe that's real, right?
Barry: Trust your New Erica. Time to taste the sky!