Adam: Hey, Doc, just wanted to say thanks. You really helped me out.
Dr. Katman: Oh, well, you know what they say... Chemists are the best at solving problems because they have all the solutions.
Adam: Big fun!
Dr. Katman: So you didn't take any of that powder. Good for you.
Adam: Actually, I gave a buttload to my grandpa, and now he's cannonballing into pools, just like Cocoon.
Dr. Katman: Cocoon?
Adam: It's this awesome movie about a bunch of elderly people that become young again after hanging out with alien eggs.
Dr. Katman: What will Hollyweird think of next?
Adam: Probably Cocoon 2.

Adam: Pops! Stop!
Milton: No running! No running! Read the posted signs!
Pops: Kiddo, you ready for me to do the dive, just like Reggie Dangerberg in Back to the Pool?
Adam: Do you mean Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School?
Pops: That's what I said.
Adam: You were embarrassingly off, but that's not important. What's important is you need to get down!
Pops: But I took a bunch of your muscle dust, and I climbed up here. It seems like I already made my choice.
Adam: But you're gonna hurt yourself! Male Rampage doesn't make you young again. Nothing does.
Pops: We'll see about that when I enter the water like a graceful... Whoa! [bleeps]
Adam: Pops! Pops, are you okay?
Pops: Get all the ice. And then find some more.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As my Cocoon plan went kerplunk, my mom was still in the deep end of her legal battle.
Beverly: Look at us burning the midnight oil, noshing on chow mein, just like real lawyers.
Erica: It's 9:30 in the morning. No one wants Chinese food.
Murray: Speak for yourself.

Erica: And what are all these files and boxes for?
Beverly: Our investigators are gonna fill them with telescopic photos, fingerprints, and DNA samples for the lab.
Erica: Why do we need DNA? It's a dispute over a book contract.
Beverly: Well, then, what are our high-priced scientific experts supposed to testify to?
Erica: The fact that it's clearly your signature?
Beverly: While that does look like my bulbous "B" and my delightful flourish around the "G," I-I would never sign something just willy-nilly like that.
Erica: Mm, it kinda seems like you did.

Beverly: Damn it! You two were at my signing party. Was there anything out of the ordinary?
Murray: Having a signing party is out of the ordinary. Who does that?
Beverly: Maybe your wife, who's proud of her accomplishment. And you should be, too.
Murray: It's all coming back to me. You did the thing. I was there. Memories. It's all up in the treasure chest.
Beverly: My signing gala was the talk of the block. There was champagne, balloons. I made that cheesy burger casserole in the shape of my book.
Murray: It's the only book I've ever finished.
Erica: Wait, Dad, didn't Mom ask you to take pictures that day?
Murray: Nope.
Beverly: I did! Ohh! Here's the camera. Oh, there's no film in it.
Murray: [chuckles] Memories.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My mom was back in arbitration, but without Erica or any evidence, her case seemed to be open and shut.
Pamela: Mrs. Goldberg, do you have anything further to present?
Beverly: Only my word. I did not sign that addendum.
Pamela: I'm ready to make my ruling and be done with both of you forever.
Erica: [enters] Not so fast.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And then, in a hero moment straight out of L.A. Law, a badass in shoulder pads showed up to save the day.
Beverly: Erica, what are you doing here?
Erica: Fighting for something I care about. I'd like to call Murray Goldberg to the stand.
Beverly: [gasps] A surprise, 11th-hour witness? Oh, you are in for it now.
Mr. Whitby: I-I object.
Erica: On what grounds?
Mr. Glascott: I'll allow it. Let's see where this goes.

Erica: Mr. Goldberg, isn't it true that you were asked to take pictures at your wife's signing party?
Murray: That's what people are saying.
Erica: And isn't it also true that you're a forgetful loaf who's never sure of what he has or hasn't done?
Murray: I can say with full confidence that I'm a, you know...
Erica: And do you recognize this?
Murray: Oh, that's one of those photo things!
Erica: Indeed, it is. And this one has your name on it.
Beverly: Are those the pictures from my signing party?
Murray: Hey, it is. Here's a pic of your cheesy casserole.
Erica: But, perhaps, can I direct you to the last photo?
Murray: Oh! Will you look at that? Somebody's a hero.

Beverly: I knew it. Rock-solid evidence. [whispers] Of what, exactly?
Erica: That the addendum was forged by Mr. Whitby.
Mr. Whitby: Uh-oh.
Erica: Because, as you can clearly see in this photo, you signed in purple Sharpie, like a weirdo, while the contract right there is signed in blue.
Pamela: Mr. Whitby, do you have a response to this?
Mr. Whitby: Yes, I do. I lied. But this has been a hoot. Am I right?
Pamela: The judgment is for Mrs. Goldberg.
Beverly: Yes!
Pamela: Print her books.

Adam: Pops, I'm so sorry. I never should have given you that powder.
Pops: Oh, don't be. I knew what I was taking.
Adam: What? You knew it wasn't real? Then why'd you climb up on that high-dive?
Pops: For you. You seemed so upset I was slowing down, I figured I'd give you a few days of the old Pops.
Adam: I'm so confused. Then where'd all that energy come from?
Pops: Simple. I am in incredible pain.

Adam: Hey, guys! I'm just here to return... Oh, my God! What happened to your skin?
Barry: It's gorgeous, right?
Andy: Ha!
Barry: As pro body builders now, it's important to enhance our jacked musculature with a beautiful bronze hue.
Adam: That is not bronze.
Andy: That's because we went to the roof without any sunscreen. We're beet red now, but it should settle into a lovely mahogany.
Naked Rob: It's so worth it.
Matt: You have third-degree burns.
Barry: You're just jealous 'cause your skin isn't this glorious chestnut. Now, watch my bi's and tri's dance as I bring a little body oil to the party. Ow!
Adam: I'll get the aloe vera.