Ren: Great, and I'll be sitting in the back of the plane with you, confused.
Barry: Not in the back. For my special lady, only first class will do.
Ren: Barry, is this because I told you I flew to St. Barts in my parents' private plane?
Barry: Did you? [chuckles] I'd already forgotten you spent your summer and a lifetime in the lap of luxury.
Ren: I'm telling you coach is fine.
Barry: See, I'm gonna be a doctor for the 49ers, occasionally coming off the bench to windmill jam in Karl Malone's face. My life will be one of pampered excess, and my classy lady doesn't sit in coach with the sky trash.
Ren: Aw.

Murray: Wait, you got us tickets on Oceanic?
Beverly: Yes, Murray. You told me to get the cheapest.
Murray: Yeah, I meant with yogurt, not taking a flying go-kart to your cousin's thing.

Geoff: Your mom let slip she has a big surprise. Now, I'm not gonna say a word, but it would be a "high lie" for me to say I'm not excited to meet a certain Latin songstress, of whom I'm a huge Este-fan.
Erica: Holy crap. Are we going to a jai alai match with Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine?
Geoff: No. Maybe. Yes. [to himself] Damn it, Geoff! Be stronger!

Barry: Hi. Barry Goldberg, AKA "Crubbs." Can I just say that is an ugly vest, but somehow you manage to pull it off.
Rachel: Thank you?
Barry: My girlfriend and I are ticketed to be in steerage, but we've been apart all summer, and I want this trip to be truly special.
Rachel: That is so adorable!
Barry: So, if you can get us an upgrade, I would sincerely appreciate it.
Rachel: [keyboard clacking] You're in luck. Two seats left.
Barry: Yes! Eat my dust, second-class garbage people.
Rachel: That'll be $5,000.
Barry: What?
Ren: Bar, I told you it's fine.
Barry: It's not, okay? You deserve first class. It's your birthright. As it's mine to visit the captain in the cockpit so we can acknowledge each other as alpha males and he can let me flip switches and make bomber noises.

Beverly: Did everyone go potty?
Geoff: Cargo hold's all clear, Mrs. G.
Beverly: Brea? Ren? Pishy and boom, hmm? [they're silent] Trust me, the less time you spend in a sky toilet, the better.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Flying in the '80s was a little different than it is now. First, there was no security.
Security Officer: What's this? Nunchucks? Throwing stars? Rope dart? Cool. [zipper closes] Have a great flight.
Barry: Thanks.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While Barry's upgrade got denied, Brea and I were getting comfy.
Brea: So, this trip. Just me and you. I mean, I know we spend a lot of time together, but this is gonna be all day, every day. You know, maybe there's still stuff that we don't know about each other.
Adam: Maybe. Check this out. Dan? Can I ask you a question?
Dan: Question. What is it?
Adam: It's a sentence that's worded to elicit information, but that's not important right now. Have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Dan: The Airplane! movie. I can't wait to attend to your every need.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Naturally, flying with my family... [dings]... was no joyride.
Beverly: A Chablis for my husband, please.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Especially for the flight attendants.
Erica: [dings] Is this plane really flying to Miami?
Adam: [dings] We've got clearance, Clarence. What's the vector, Victor? Roger, Roger.
Barry: [dings] Would you let the captain know I'd like to drop by the cockpit?
Beverly: [dings] You're gonna have to deal with this baby's mother. [scoffs] I got her to stop crying, and yet I'm the bad guy?
Erica: [dings] Blink once if my mother is forcing you to take part in her scheme.
Adam: [dings] Do you like movies about gladiators? (laughs)
Ted: [dings] That lady has the drink cart again.
Beverly: Drink up.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, it usually got so bad... [dinging] ...those poor sky stewards had no choice but to do this.
Rachel: [over P.A.] Our apologies. The call button system has been disconnected. Also, I know it seems like we've been flying for hours, but we'll be taking off shortly.
Beverly: This really is a discount airline. I'm gonna go speak to the captain about some flight vouchers.

Erica: Okay, my dad's alone and loopy. Go pump him for intel.
Geoff: Erica, is this really necessary?
Erica: Yes. I mean, this whole trip makes no sense. When does my mom just give us stuff out of the blue?
Geoff: Adam has like 5,000 toys, Barry has every sporting good known to man, and you have more musical instruments than you even know how to play. What's a zither?
Erica: Something I need to be happy. Go!

Brea: So, look, there's something I wanted to talk to you about. Um, this is kinda hard for me.
Adam: Surely, you can't be serious.
Brea: Actually, I am.
Adam: And don't call you Shirley? [chuckles] I set you up, but you missed that one.
Brea: It feels like you're missing it.