Angela: We offer a number of packages here. Groove on this.
Will: Oh! Ooh, this is the bomb. Oh, I knew I liked this place. Baby, look, they got a package on my all-time idol.
Lisa: Who's that?
Will: Who's the Black private dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks?
Lisa: Shaft?
Will: You're damn right.
Will: Oh, baby, he's been my idol ever since I was a kid. Can we have this one? Baby, can we have the Shaft package? Can we please do that one, baby, please?
Lisa: Well, okay, baby, but I don't wanna be given away by the pimp.
Will: But, baby, that's what makes the whole... All right, all right. [Lisa laughs] Give us the Shaft.

[band playing Isaac Hayes' "Theme from Shaft"]
Minister: Come, my children. [Lisa giggles] Who's the Black Philly man that's gonna Take this fine woman's hand
Backing singers: Smith
Will: That's fine, that's me, baby.
Minister: You're damn right Who is the man that's got some vows In his hand to tell his woman
Backing singers: Will Smith
Minister: Can you dig it?
Will: "Lisa, you're my sun, my moon, my stars. You're my whole universe. You make me feel complete. I wanna be with you forever..."
Backing singers: Smith
Minister: Sure enough.
Will: Right.

Will: Um... "From the first time I saw you, I knew that I wanted to be with you always. I knew that I wanted to hold you and love you..."
Backing singers: Smith Will Smith, yeah
Will: Right on. All right. Um...
Backing singers: They say this cat Smith Is a bad mother-
Will: Shut your mouth.
Minister: Well, they talking about you.
Will: Can I do this, please? Um, where was I? "Lisa..."
Minister: You're a complicated man There's no one who understands you But your woman
Backing singers: Will Smith
Will: [sighs] Look, Lisa, what I'm trying to say is.... [singers whooping] All right, that's enough! [Will whooping] That's it. Look, Lisa, baby, I'm telling you I want to marry you, but definitely not like this.
Lisa: Right on, Will.
Will: Oh, by the way, dude, your Isaac Hayes impression stinks.
Minister: I don't know, I thought it was pretty good.

Will: What's up?
Philip: How you doing, Will?
Will: Remember, Lisa's pop's coming from Cleveland. So don't be late for dinner. [chuckles] My fault. For a second there, I forgot who I was talking to, you know that I'm saying?

Philip: I'm actually looking forward to meeting him. We'll probably discuss the wedding while he's here. In fact, I have finished the guest list. And good news, I've kept it small, just 300 people.
Will: Three hundred? Who are you inviting, the entire Wayans family?

Will: Hey, G, what is your idea of, like, the perfect wedding?
Geoffrey: Any one at which I'm not serving hors d'oeuvres or pouring champagne.
Will: Oh, then you're gonna think ours sucks.

Will: G, does anybody in this house care what I want?
Geoffrey: No.

Carlton: Look, I don't wanna scare you, but these bureaucrats are heartless.
Hilary: Well, what should I do?
Carlton: Smile, be polite and wear a spandex dress that makes them sit up and say, "Aye, chihuahua."
Ashley: [scoffs] Carlton, that's terrible. Hilary would never degrade herself like that.
Hilary: Absolutely not. [sighs] I'll wear leather.
Ashley: Why don't you just wear hot pants and a bustier with two big cones on it?
Hilary: Before Memorial Day?

Fred: You know, Phil, it sounds to me like you don't think my town is good enough for you and your ritzy friends.
Will: Hey, man, why you ain't tell me you invited the Ritzy's?
Philip: Fred, let me simplify this for you. Now, ha, ha, if flying out here is a problem for you and your guests don't worry about it, it's on me.
Fred: I'm gonna be on you too if you keep throwing your money in my face, you fat cat.
Will: Okay. Ding, ding, ding! All sumo wrestlers to the showers!
Fred: I'll have you know, I put $10,000 aside for this wedding.
Philip: Oh, please, that wouldn't even cover the invitations.
Will: Okay, okay. [singing] Kumbaya, my lord Everybody! [singing] Kumbaya

Fred: Now, there is nothing wrong with being a hardworking man. Have you ever done an honest day's work?
Philip: I happen to be a judge.
Fred: I'll take that as a no.
Lisa: Now, just wait a minute.
Will: This is completely out of hand.
Philip: You just stay out of this, Will.
Fred: Yeah, this does not concern you. And you, you can forget about coming to Cleveland. Because a big soft marshmallow man like you, you wouldn't last five seconds.