Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Slum Like It... Not!’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Slum Like It... Not!

519. Slum Like It... Not!

Aired March 13, 1995

Worried about his financial future, Will talks Uncle Phil into investing in Jazz's apartment block.

Quote from Will

Ashley: Daddy, why don't you hear Will out? He might say something you like.
Philip: Well, I guess you're right. My father always said there's no such thing as a bad idea.
Carlton: Yes. But your father never heard about fried-chicken-flavored aspirin. What did you call it again, Will?
Will: Rotisserie-gold-icillin.
Carlton: And let's not forget about his beepers that cough.
Will: Oh, now, wait a minute. That one could've worked. You just never thought it through enough, Uncle Phil. See, now check this out, you're sitting in a movie theater, your beeper go off. Instead of hearing beep, beep, beep, beep, you hear: [coughing and snorting] See? That's a lot less annoying, right?

Rate

Quote from Jazz

Carlton: Good Lord, who knows what kind of vermin are in here?
Jazz: How do?
Philip: I don't have time for you, Jazz. I have to meet with the head of the tenants association.
Jazz: Okay. But before I go, this'll make you laugh. Knock, knock.
Philip: Who's there?
Jazz: The head of the tenants association. That's me.
Will: But wait a minute. Jazz, you mean you're the person that's suing my uncle? Man, what were you thinking about?
Jazz: I'm just trying to protect your investment. After you put a couple of million dollars in this place, it'll be worth thousands.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Stop it, Carlton. Now, put it back in the fuse box, please. This is dangerous.
Carlton: Not if you know how to read. Look, it says touch here.
Will: Cool.
Carlton: But wait. There's more. "A town risk." What the heck does that mean? A town risk. [Will screams] Oh, at own risk. Sorry.

Quote from Geoffrey

Ashley: Oh, Will, there's nothing to worry about. So what, you and Lisa have no place to live.
Carlton: And no money in the bank.
Geoffrey: And a crummy dead-end job. Heh. Oh, wait. That would be me.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, hey. Hey, look. Hey, dude. I'm only gonna say this once. Get off me. I'm only gonna say this twice.
Bailiff: Your Honor, these gentlemen claim to know you. You want me to throw them in the lockup?
Philip: Oh, would you?
Will: Hey, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Oh, all right. Thank you, Kevin.
Will: Get off me, Kevin.
Philip: What do you two want? I'm in the middle of making a very crucial decision here.
Will: Uh, go with the original. Extra crispy is overrated.

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: Hey, I wasn't doing nothing. Hey.
Geoffrey: Hello, Master William.
Philip: Danish?
Geoffrey: Only on my mother's side.

Quote from Will

Philip: Now this is how you put together a presentation. You see how he's organized all the facts and figures here? Some of these figures look pretty good. Mm.
Will: You just like that piechart in there, don't you?
Philip: Ha, ha. Well, you can joke if you want to, but I wouldn't mind taking a big bite out of this pie.
Will: So you mean you like this presentation, Uncle Phil?
Philip: I certainly do. Oh. Hey, I'm sorry, son. It's just that, you know well, this is where Carlton shines.
Will: Oh, yeah. I mean, you know my presentation was nothing compared to this. Oh, get the... Oh, wait a minute. This is my presentation. Look. What that say there?
Philip: "Presented by Will Smith."
Will: Oh, that what it says? You know, it's amazing because just last night you were saying how stupid this was. You know, it must have morphed.
Philip: Yeah, well, see, I really flipped through it rather quickly, you know and-
Will: You backpedal any faster, Uncle Phil, you're gonna moonwalk right through that wall.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Well, thank you guys very much. I feel better now.
Ashley: Don't worry, Will. You and Lisa will be okay.
Carlton: That's right. I believe you'll always be able to make a living. You do own a squeegee, don't you?

Quote from Will

Philip: Will, if this is about another one of your investment ideas, forget it. I don't know, they're just a little too... What is the word I'm looking for?
Carlton: Stupid?
Philip: Bingo. [laughs]
Will: Whoa, wait a minute.
Carlton: Dad doesn't need financial advice from you. Why do you think he has me?
Will: I don't know. What, the drugstore was closed that weekend?

Quote from Will

Will: All right, all right. Look, is it worth five minutes to hear the investment opportunity of a lifetime?
Philip: No.
Will: I'll take it as a yes. Hit it, Jazz. [reggae music plays]
Will: [in Jamaican accent] Uncle Phil, mon how would you like to live in an island paradise?
Philip: You expect me to buy an island?
Will: Oh, no, mon. I expect you to retire there. Boom! [Jazz sticks Uncle Phil's head on the picture of a man] Oh. Look at this man. The sun from your melon be blinding the little children. Blee-bah-bah! [Jazz sticks a hat on Uncle Phil's head in the picture]
Philip: Get to the point!

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode