TV Quotes

[band playing Isaac Hayes' "Theme from Shaft"]
Minister: Come, my children. [Lisa giggles] Who's the Black Philly man that's gonna Take this fine woman's hand
Backing singers: Smith
Will: That's fine, that's me, baby.
Minister: You're damn right Who is the man that's got some vows In his hand to tell his woman
Backing singers: Will Smith
Minister: Can you dig it?
Will: "Lisa, you're my sun, my moon, my stars. You're my whole universe. You make me feel complete. I wanna be with you forever..."
Backing singers: Smith
Minister: Sure enough.
Will: Right.

Angela: We offer a number of packages here. Groove on this.
Will: Oh! Ooh, this is the bomb. Oh, I knew I liked this place. Baby, look, they got a package on my all-time idol.
Lisa: Who's that?
Will: Who's the Black private dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks?
Lisa: Shaft?
Will: You're damn right.
Will: Oh, baby, he's been my idol ever since I was a kid. Can we have this one? Baby, can we have the Shaft package? Can we please do that one, baby, please?
Lisa: Well, okay, baby, but I don't wanna be given away by the pimp.
Will: But, baby, that's what makes the whole... All right, all right. [Lisa laughs] Give us the Shaft.

Will: Hey, you know what, you ain't got to do nothing, Uncle Phil. You know, it ain't like I'm still 5 years old, you know. It ain't like I'm going to be sitting up every night asking my mom: "When's Daddy coming home?" You know, who needs him? He wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned, didn't I? And I got pretty good at it too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?
Philip: Yeah, you did.
Will: Got through my first date without him, right? I learned how to drive. I learned how to shave. I learned how to fight without him. I had 14 great birthdays without him. He never even sent me a damn card. To hell with him! I didn't need him then and I don't need him now.
Philip: Will-
Will: No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'm gonna get through college without him. I'm gonna get a great job without him. I'm going to marry me a beautiful honey, and I'm gonna have me a whole bunch of kids and I'm gonna be a better father than he ever was. And I sure as hell don't need him for that, because there ain't a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids. How come he don't want me, man?

Carlton: So, Will, you haven't told me about your new place.
Will: Oh. Yeah, yeah. Uh, you know, I'm moving in soon. You know, right now they putting a Jacuzzi in and they getting the mirrors on the roof.
Carlton: So what, it's kind of a fixer-upper?
Will: Oh, no, no. No, not at all, man. Yo, this place is huge. I mean, we got floor-to-ceiling walls and wall-to-wall floors. Man, yo, it's the bomb.