Vivian: Good morning, baby.
Ashley: Oh, Mommy, you look so pretty.
Vivian: Thank you. Hilary's taking your father and me to brunch at the Club today.
Hilary: I wanted to thank them for being helpful while I organized Monte Carlo night. The way we all pulled together made me see the importance of family and how truly blessed I am.
Ashley: What about the rest of us? We're your family, too.
Hilary: Yeah, but if I take all of you I won't have enough money left over to buy a hat.

Philip: You know what I was thinking? I'm tired of going to the club, seeing those same old faces all the time. What say we head down to Denny's for a short stack?
Vivian: Philip, Hilary wants to take us to the Club for brunch.
Philip: After what Will did last night, they're all going to be gossiping about us. I mean, why put ourselves through that?
Vivian: Oh, they won't be gossiping. Will gave the check back. Besides, people at our club aren't like that. I mean, no one cared about Mrs. Silverberg's divorce.
Philip: Hmm, I heard she's been seeing the golf pro.
Vivian: I heard her husband caught them in the utility closet.
Hilary: But did you know that both of them were wearing nothing but cleats?
Ashley: It was the tennis pro in the steam room. But the cleats part is right. Kids talk.

Mrs. Pullman: Vivian, I want to congratulate you on having such a talented daughter. Here, in case you need this.
Vivian: Thank you, but I don't smoke.
Mrs. Pullman: It's gold. It's worth something. [exits]
Vivian: I thought she was still on the wagon.
Philip: Something very strange is going on here. Excuse me. Waiter? Could we have the check, please?
Waiter: It's already been taken care of.
Philip: By whom?
[The waiter points to Mr. Firth, who waves at Philip]
Waiter: By the way, if you need to unload one of your cars, I can give you cash. I just sold a screenplay.

Philip: Henry! Henry. What in God's name is going on here?
Henry Firth: If you needed money, why didn't you come to me instead of making Will keep that check?
Philip: It was Will's idea. I told him to give it back.
Henry Firth: Sure. Sure, old man.
Philip: George, would you tell him that Will gave back that check please?
Mr. Cummings: Well, I'd love to, but he didn't.
Philip: But I told him to. Well, this is obviously some kind of mistake.
Henry Firth: Oh, sure and Mrs. Silverberg was wearing cleats because she forgot her shower shoes.

Ramon: Man, I finally beat you.
Will: Hey, man, no, the sun was in my eyes.
Ramon: Man, the same sun was in my eyes. Stop being a baby.
Will: Hey, man, I ain't being no baby. And if you beat me again, I'm taking my ball and I ain't being your friend.

Philip: Will, why didn't you give that check to charity like I told you to?
Will: What you talking about? I did.
Philip: Don't stand there and lie to me.
Will: I'm not lying.
Philip: I just got back from the Club and I've never been so humiliated. I thought we had an agreement that that money was going to go where it was most needed. Now, you march upstairs and get me that check.
Will: Well, I can't. The money's gone.
Vivian: Will, how could you have spent $1,000 already?
Ramon: Wow, Will, you must be loaded! You spent $1,000 and had another $1,000 to give to me for basketball camp? I gotta raise your shoeshine rate.
Philip: You gave the money to Ramon?
Will: Well, yeah, you know, it's just a loan. Till his sneaker endorsement comes through in, you know, around 2010.