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‘Something for Nothing’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Something for Nothing

212. Something for Nothing

Aired December 9, 1991

When Will wins some money at the country club, he decides to go against tradition in donating the money back to the club. Meanwhile, Geoffrey sets up a poker night for Ashley, who is too young to attend the club.

Quote from Will

Carlton: Well, I'm all ready for Monte Carlo night. I've read this book cover to cover. Ask me about any odd combination.
Will: Okay, why is Michael Jackson hanging with that little boy from Home Alone?

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Quote from Will

Vivian: Philip, I'm sure Will just hasn't gotten around to returning the check yet.
Philip: Vivian, when I tell Will to do something I expect for it to be done.
Will: Hey, Aunt Viv! Uncle... Phil. Whoa, you got that mad look in your eyes. Let me guess. You grabbed Geoffrey's underwear by mistake, am I right?

Quote from Ashley

Geoffrey: Something wrong, Miss Ashley?
Ashley: No. Everything's fine. [sighs]
Geoffrey: Spill it.
Ashley: Be honest. We're playing with cookies because you think I'm a kid, right?
Geoffrey: Well, yes.
Ashley: I'm 13! If these were the Middle Ages, I'd already be married and own a pair of oxen. I'm an adult. A young adult.
Geoffrey: I'll get my wallet.
Ashley: I'll get my Smurf bank.

Quote from Will

Vivian: Will, this is a fundraiser for the L.A. Political Coalition. Everything cannot always be about fun.
Will: Hold up! What? Y'all gonna make me go?
Philip: Well, at least show up. If you're still unhappy after the first half hour, consider the rest of the evening punishment for something you've gotten away with.
Will: I'd rather be stranded at sea with David Duke leading the rescue party.

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: Well, we better be going. Good night, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: Sir.
Philip: And, Ashley, sweetheart, I'll bring you home a stuffed Miss Piggy doll.
Ashley: Oh, joy. [to Geoffrey] Being 13 bites. And I'm too young to know what it bites.
Geoffrey: Perhaps biting into a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie would lift your spirits. I've poured you a nice cold glass of milk to go with it.
Ashley: [to herself] Why don't you just slap a diaper on me and hang a mobile over my head?
[As Ashley follows Geoffrey into the kitchen, she sees he has set up a poker table for her]
Ashley: Oh, Geoffrey! It's wonderful!
Geoffrey: Here is your ginger ale. Shaken, not stirred. I trust you won't be dancing on the table with a lamp shade on your head. Ante is one vanilla wafer. Table limit, four mint Milanos.

Quote from Will

Philip: Well, Will, that was very commendable, but that's not what that money was raised for.
Will: Come on, Uncle Phil. You said I got a break and I was supposed to give somebody else a break so I gave the money to Ramon.
Vivian: He's right, Philip, you did say that.
Philip: I'll still donate $1,000 to L.A.P.C.
Will: Yeah, that's cool. But, looky here. Seeing as how you're in this extremely generous mood, I want to know if you was down with donating to the United Negro Nephew Fund. You know, they say a Saturday night is a terrible thing to waste.

Quote from Will

Carlton: This is amazing! Did you know the odds of getting hit by an asteroid are one in 6,000?
Will: Really? I'm feeling kinda lucky, man. Why don't you go outside? "How to Beat the Odds"? Sorry, C., no way to beat it, you're odd.

Quote from Will

Hilary: And, Will, you're gonna help with the cleanup.
Will: I ain't down with that old country club stuff, sitting around all night discussing mayonnaise with four White guys named Biff.
Carlton: Isn't Biff a riot?

Quote from Geoffrey

Ramon: Time to go help Ma wash Mr. Steinberg's windows. Peace.
Will: Hey, be cool, babe.
Ramon: Oh, by the way, G, she told me to tell you hello.
Geoffrey: Really?
Ramon: No, I just wanted to watch the Earl Grey run through your veins. [exits]
Geoffrey: When we have children like that in England we encourage them to emigrate.

Quote from Hilary

Vivian: Hilary, I just want to know what job I'll be doing so I can pick out an outfit.
Hilary: Mother, the ladies at the country club put me in charge of Monte Carlo Night because I don't play favorites.
Vivian: Well, just remember whose name is on your favorite credit card.
Hilary: "Vivian Banks: any job she wants."

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