Will: Yo, G, here's the whipped cream you wanted for dinner.
Geoffrey: Who said it was for dinner?

Philip: Here's Judge Robertson at that big student anti-war rally, remember? He was the only professor that had guts enough to go up against the administration.
Hilary: I can't believe it.
Philip: Trust me, Hilary. He was a great man and a hell of a lawyer.
Hilary: No, I mean, that those women didn't shave under their arms.

Ashley: Geoffrey, you look great today. Have you done something different with your hair?
Geoffrey: Yes. I stopped pulling it out. What are you selling?
Ashley: Okay, I'm hawking candy bars. They're only $5.
Geoffrey: Marvelous. With what I'm paid I should be able to afford one by the end of the day.
Carlton: [to Will] You poor, pathetic gigolo. How could any self-respecting man sell himself so cheap?
Geoffrey: Like I don't hear enough of that from my mother.
Carlton: I was talking to Will.
Geoffrey: Of course. Why would anyone talk to me? I am but a poor, lowly servant.

Will: Carlton, I'm saying, what's your damage, man? I mean, Lindsey just can't resist me. It's just a Laker game, you know? Hey, besides, you know what they say about guys with big ears?
Carlton: They can fly?

Hilary: So did everybody watch LA's favorite weather girl today?
All: No.
Hilary: Well, I was the bright spot, as usual. I wore my new Versace.
Vivian: So what's the weather going to be like tomorrow, honey?
Hilary: What am I, psychic?

Philip: Vivian, I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Vivian: Philip, I don't see why you don't want to run.
Will: He's probably afraid he'll crack the concrete.

Will: Hey, Carlton, what time is it? Oh, I'm sorry, I almost forgot. I'm only wearing the finest timepiece ever made. This gold model was handcrafted in Switzerland by the finest of craftsmen. Keeps time accurate to within three seconds a year. [picks up Carlton's wrist] Love the Casio.
Carlton: Will, you're nothing more than a trollop, a strumpet, a love slave, sans the love.
Will: I'm sorry, Carlton, I couldn't hear you. My damn watch was just ticking so loud.
Carlton: You just don't have the fortitude to say no.
Will: Carlton, please. I mean, I have no choice. I'm the chosen one. I mean, take Moses when he was asked to part the Red Sea, did he say, "No, y'all build a dam"?

Vivian: Will, the Allied Political Coalition just asked your uncle to run for Superior Court Judge.
Philip: Yeah. Those imbeciles are trying to railroad Judge Robertson off the bench.
Will: I can't believe that. Judge Robertson? They had the audacity to try to do that to Judge Robertson? Who the hell is Judge Robertson?
Vivian: He was your uncle's mentor and quite a colorful person.
Philip: Well, he was a little bit eccentric. But he taught me the true meaning of the word "justice." You know, there were times I didn't think I was going to make it through school, but he wouldn't let me quit. I never would have gotten through law school without him.
Will: What'd he do? Have the halls widened? [laughs] That was a good one.
Philip: [grabs Will's neck] For your information... He taught me not only the spirit, but the letter of the law.
Will: Ooh, God bless him.
Philip: And I consider it an insult for anyone to try to get him out of office. What do you think, Will?
Will: I think I should have never said nothing about them halls.

Geoffrey: Master William, Miss Lindsey to see you. [Lindsey holds out a bill for Geoffrey] Miss Lindsey, this is most inappropriate. I couldn't possibly... Oh, it's Ben! Thank you.

Hilary: Is the judge here, yet?
Vivian: No, honey, not yet.
Hilary: Good, then I have plenty of time to plant this.
Philip: Hilary, what is that?
Hilary: It's a bug. They gave it to me down at the newsroom. If I can scoop some dirt on Judge Robertson it could mean a big promotion. I feel just like Deborah Norville, except I have a job.