Carlton: Will, you're smiling like Dad does when he finishes the Happy Birthday bucket at Baskin-Robbins.
Will: Man, you scream your girl's name out on TV, you'd be smiling, too.

Ashley: Dad. Will would like to know if he can please come in.
[As Will waves through the door, Uncle Phil pulls down the shutter]
Ashley: Come on, Daddy, at least let him sleep in the house.

Will: Look, Uncle Phil, I know we didn't exactly see eye to eye on the commercial, I mean, but I got a lot of positive feedback.
Philip: Oh, please, from who?
Will: From Latisha. She said you looked really handsome. But she also thought Delta Burke looked better as a blonde.

Hilary: Hi, everybody.
Trevor: Hey, guys.
Vivian: Baby, you are positively glowing today.
Trevor: Thank you. New moisturizer. We can't all be as blessed as you are, Mom.
Vivian: Trevor, that's so sweet. But, honey, call me Mrs. Banks.

Will: [answers the phone] Home of the Whopper, what's your beef? [chuckles] Yeah, right. Okay.
Hilary: Will, who is it?
Will: Some chicken here talking about she from the Oprah Winfrey Show.
Trevor: Oh, that would be for me, homey. Alexis. Ah, yes, so did you speak to Oprah yet?
Will: What, you mean this call's legit?
Hilary: Will, Trevor knows lots of very important people.
Trevor: So, what about Oprah? Is it a deal? Super. I owe you big time, babe. This is Trevor Collins, goodbye and Godspeed.

Vivian: What's all this excitement?
Hilary: We're all going to be on Oprah.
Will: We're all gonna be on Oprah.
Hilary: And it's all thanks to Trevor.
Trevor: Well...
Philip: Wait a minute. Trevor, why should Oprah care anything about us?
Trevor: Well, actually, Phil, she doesn't, you're nobody.
Hilary: But Alexis, the woman who books the show, is an old friend of Trevor's. I kind of got the feeling she had a crush on you.
Trevor: Well... Actually, she had the cutest little nickname for me.
Ashley: What was it?
Trevor: God.

Will: All right, I got things to do. I got to get a new fade. I got to get some new shoestrings for my Doc Martens. Oh, man. I'm going to be on Oprah!

Trevor: Phil, I hate to bust the boy's balloon but Alexis said she could only book the immediate family.
Carlton: You mean Will can't go? That's darned unfair. And I think I speak for everyone in this room when I say: "What am I going to wear?"

Vivian: Philip, honey, how can we disappoint Will? He's a part of this family.
Philip: No, Vivian, he's a part of your family. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but he's damaged my campaign enough. And the sooner we tell him he's not coming with us the easier it will be on him.
Will: [on the phone] Hey, Mom, guess what, I'm going to be on Oprah.
Philip: And as soon as you tell him, let me know.

Will: So, what do you think?
Philip: Have we met?
Will: Come on, Uncle Phil, I just wanted to fit in with you all when we go on Oprah. Hey, look, Uncle Phil, I got to tell you, man, taking me to Chicago with you that really means a lot to me.
Philip: Yeah, you know, Will, there...
Will: And it ain't just because I promised Latisha I was going to scream her name out on TV. It's because, you know, you really make me feel like part of your family. [hugs Uncle Phil] Well, thanks a lot, Uncle Phil. I guess I'll just go out in the car and wait quietly in the back seat.