Patty Ryals: Knock, knock.
Kitty: Patty Ryals, I didn't know you were back in town.
Patty Ryals: Well, you always return to where you were young, which I know, for you, Kitty, is a long time ago. Actually, I just dropped by to tell you I'm taking over tonight's Ladies of Point Place Christmas party.
Kitty: What? No, I'm in charge.
Patty Ryals: Past tense. The LOPPs remembered that you aren't the most reliable L of PP after I reminded them about the punch-bowl incident of 1973.
Kitty: You dredged up my Chappaquiddick?

Jackie: What did Mrs. Forman do?
Donna: She spiked the wrong punch bowl. I missed the sixth grade Christmas play 'cause I couldn't walk a straight line.

Hyde: VertiBird central, you are cleared for takeoff. Prepare to transport funion.
Fez: We have visual. Funion's remaining secure.
Eric: VertiBird to Kelso, prepare to receive funion.
Kelso: Roger that. Awaiting funion.
Hyde: Funion's under attack! Funion's under attack!
Fez: Steady with the funion.
Eric: Houston, the funion has landed.

Donna: What's going on?
Kelso: Eric flew a funion into my mouth.
Jackie: This is what's more important than going to a party with me?
Hyde: Jackie, I think you're overreacting. And yes.
Donna: You guys seriously need to grow up.
Eric: Okay. [chuckles] I think someone's a little mad that we didn't fly a funion into her mouth.

Jackie: Okay, Steven, I'm going to that Christmas party, and if you don't come with me right now, you are in so much trouble. Right now! I'm opening the door. I'm stepping outside. I'm closing the door. [o.s.] You are in so much trouble!

Jackie: You know, I thought Steven was maturing. He's out of high school, he's got a job, and lately he's even been taking his sunglasses off inside the house. That's real progress, Donna.
Donna: Well, maybe what's going on with Hyde is the same thing that's going on with my boyfriend, Lieutenant Funion.
Jackie: It's that stupid Kelso. He's always talking them into having fun. Steven should not be having fun, he should be with me.

Patty Ryals: Kitty, these decorations look awful. This isn't your living room. Everything has to match.
Kitty: You should have mentioned that to your plastic surgeon.

Patty Ryals: Jackie Burkhart. Welcome to the LOPPs' Christmas party. Where's your boyfriend?
Jackie: Oh, um, he can't be here. He's at rich stockbroker school.
Patty Ryals: Well, then I'm just gonna have to seat you with the Single Ladies of Point Place.
Jackie: [gasps] The SLOPPs?
Donna: Ha! You're a SLOPP.

Bob: Hey, there, hi, there, ho, ho, ho there. Patty Ryals? It's me.
Patty Ryals: [chuckles] Well, yes, Santa, it's good to see you.
Bob: Bob Pinciotti. We went out that time? I didn't have the beard then, although I think I wore a similar red jacket.
Patty Ryals: Speaking of which, that's rented, so try not to sweat through it.
Bob: What a woman.

Red: Bad news, Kitty. I went by the police station to pick up the toys. They've been stolen.
Kitty: What?
Red: Yeah. Makes me think the police in this town aren't that good.
Kitty: Red, getting those gifts here was the only job Patty left me. Okay, you need to go home, you need to find something, anything, to wrap up and give away at the party.
Red: Oh, fine. But this counts as one of your Christmas presents.
Kitty: This is horrible. Taking toys from children. What kind of monster would do such a thing?