Kitty: Okay, Eric, it's your father's last day at work, but don't mention it. In fact, my advice to both you kids is just eat and get out.
Hyde: Mrs. Forman, I could hide in the basement.
Kitty: No, no, I am not gonna have you kids leave without your breakfast. You know what's fun? A bacon sandwich. Here. You can eat it in the car.

Hyde: She lacks character, Mrs. Forman.
Laurie: Shut up! You are lucky to even live here. You're an orphan.
Hyde: She called me an orphan.
Eric: Hey, he's not an orphan. His mom just abandoned him.
Hyde: Shut up, Forman!
Kitty: Okay, that's it. Everybody hide in the basement. Go!
Red: [enters] Morning.
Kitty: Amen. Everybody sit and eat.

Kitty: How are you?
Red: Great.
Kitty: So, um... What are you doing?
Red: Reading. Having some coffee.
Eric: Is the coffee good?
Red: Okay. Everybody knows that today is my last day at work. Last day that the plant is open. So... I just want to tell you all that everything is going to be great. So... Great.
Laurie: Daddy, that is such good news. Can I have $20?
Kitty: You get in the basement.

Laurie: Who you talking to?
Kelso: [hits head] Oh! Aah... Oh. Hello... Laurie. What are you doing here?
Laurie: I'm bored. There's nothing on TV. So, this is your new ride, huh?
Kelso: It is.
Laurie: It's really, uh, roomy.
Kelso: Listen, Laurie, uh... I don't think you should be in here. I mean, I know we've made out a couple dozen times. Uh-huh.
Laurie: Twice.
Kelso: Okay. Uh... But that's over.
Laurie: Gosh, I sure do feel close to you, Kelso.
Kelso: [whimpers] Listen, Laurie, I... I don't think my girlfriend, Jackie would like you sitting on me.
Laurie: I think you like me sitting on you. In fact, I know you do.
Kelso: Okay... But that's not the point.
Laurie: [kisses Kelso] Shut up, Kelso. This is your lucky day.
Kelso: [o.s.] Laurie, don't. Stop. Hey... Those are my pants!

Red: Look at me. I'm almost 50.
Dale: You're not over 50?
Bruce: Oh, you got to shut up.
Red: ...Shut up! I only know how to do one thing. I've been doing it my whole life. It's not like another one of these plants is gonna open up in this crap hole. How am I gonna support my family? Aw... To hell with it. At least I got you guys... And I love you guys.

Amy: Hey, are those sideburns?
Hyde: Since eighth grade.

All: [sing with radio] Up against the wall, Redneck Mother Whoo-hoo Mother, who has raised her son so well...
Kitty: Okay, you know what? Let's turn that off.
Hyde: Hey, I got Amy's phone number.
Red: Good for you, Steven.
Hyde: Well... I hope she's still pretty tomorrow.
Kitty: Okay, you know what? Let's just turn that Redneck Mother song back on.
All: [sing with radio] He's 34 and drinking in a honky-tonk Oh, play it for mama Kicking hippies asses and raising hell