Red: Hey, bring these guys a beer.
Eric: No, Dad, I'm supposed to take you home. Mom said so.
Red: Normally, you do what your mother says. Sometimes, you know... You're a dumbass. But mostly, you're a good kid.
Eric: Thank you, sir.
Red: But this is my last day of work... And I didn't get a party. I didn't get a gold watch. And I didn't get crap. So... Let's drink!

Bob: Wow, look at this piece of junk.
Kelso: This is my van.
Bob: [chuckles] Yeah? Well, you know, I had a Ford delivery van in high school. Yeah, it's a lot of fun till somebody gets preg... You got to be careful in this van, Kelso. You know what I mean?
Midge: An idiot would know what you mean.
Kelso: What do you mean?
Bob: Sell the van, kid.
Midge: What's that supposed to mean?
Bob: Oh, I'm happy.

Kelso: Yeah, even the radio works. And all the doors... They open! And it's got brakes, too. I mean, can you believe this? I mean, my uncle, he just gave it to me. He gave it to me, for free!
Fez: That is insane. I would pay tens of dollars for this. [sniffs] Or not.
Hyde: Did he own a cat?
Kelso: Yeah. I'm getting an air freshener.
Eric: Yeah. Get a big one.
Kelso: Guys, guys, this thing is like a bedroom on wheels. No more, "Michael, the backseat's too small." "Michael, you're on my hair." "Michael, you're choking me." That's over.