Laurie: Daddy! This is for you.
Red: Well. Let's see here. [chuckles] Well! $7. Isn't that something? Thanks, sweetie.
Kitty: If I don't have $13 on my dresser by tonight, then so help me God...
Laurie: The card cost 50 cents.
Kitty: Fine, $12.50 and I want a receipt.
Laurie: Whatever.

Hyde: What a bummer for Donna, huh? I can't believe they're sleeping in separate bedrooms.
Eric: Yeah, I know. Wait, I don't know. What are you talking about?
Fez: Well, Hyde knows something about Donna that Eric does not know. This is an interesting development. Let's watch.
Hyde: Midge is sleeping in the guest bedroom, man.
Eric: How did you know that? Did Donna tell you that?
Hyde: Look, Forman, it's not a big deal. I guess she's just telling me stuff that she's not telling you.

Jackie: See, this is why communication is so important. Now, Michael and I...
Eric: Uh, excuse me, we were talking about Donna and me and how...
Jackie: Oh, hush. No one cares. Now, Michael never keeps secrets from me. Do you, sweetie?
Kelso: Huh? Oh, no, no. Never.
Jackie: Michael, you hesitated. Why did you hesitate?
Kelso: No, I didn't hesitate. Did I, Hyde?
Hyde: Yep.
Kelso: Fez?
Fez: Oh, yes. If you really loved her, you would not have hesitated.
Kelso: Ah!
Jackie: Conversation, Michael. The van, now.
Kelso: No! No, I didn't hesitate! You guys are dead!

Eric: Donna wouldn't even talk to me. She just kept sticking her tongue down my throat.
Hyde: Oh, boo-hoo, Forman. You get to fool around with a totally hot chick and you never have to talk about her feelings? You poor, French-kissing bastard.

Kelso: Yeah, Hyde's right. One time I asked Jackie what was wrong, and she didn't shut up for, like, three straight days.
Fez: You know, Kelso, sometimes you do not know what you have until it is gone. And then someone else has it and it is not you. And then that someone else is really happy.
Kelso: What are you talking about?
Hyde: You don't know what he's talking about? That's it. Get the helmet. Kelso, put this on.
Kelso: Shut up. I'm not putting the helmet on. Now what are you talking about?
Fez: I'll tell you what I am talking about if you put the helmet on.
Kelso: Fine. [puts helmet on]
Fez: If you don't take care of Jackie, you are going to lose her.
Kelso: [scoffs] That's just stupid.

Eric: Look, Hyde, all I know is that you're talking to my girlfriend, and I don't like it.
Hyde: Hey, man, I was friends with Donna before you ever became her little boyfriend.
Eric: Hyde, you're pissing me off.
Hyde: Why don't you think, Forman? You get to make out with one of the hottest chicks in Wisconsin, while I'm being all sympathetic and relating my crappy life to her, and I'm pissing you off? You're supposed to be the friend and I'm supposed to be the make-out guy. Now that I think about it, you're pissing me off!

Eric: Donna. I'm glad you're here. I... I've been thinking about this a lot, and, uh... I'm not mad anymore.
Donna: Okay. Mad about what?
Eric: Oh. Well, uh... Hyde told me that you two talked about your home situation...
Donna: You guys talked about me?
Eric: Yeah... Well, see, but Kelso was wearing a helmet, so he only heard, like, half of it. And I'm not really sure about Fez's grasp of English. I mean, he nods a lot, but...
Donna: I can't believe you guys talked about me.
Eric: Well, to be honest, it was a lot of Hyde with the, uh, "Donna and the parents and the separate bedrooms..." And I'm all like, whoa, hold up there, Hyde. I don't think she'd like you talking about her.
Donna: God!
Eric: No, I... I... Just hear me out. I don't know why you talked to Hyde, but I forgive you.
Donna: You forgive me?
Eric: No, what I'm saying... You don't have to do that anymore. Because I'm here for you.

Donna: Okay, thanks loads, Eric, but you can't help me with this. Your family is... A family.
Eric: Donna, to be fair, you didn't even give me a chance. You never came to me with this.
Donna: All right, fine. You know what? You want to be part of this whole thing? You do? Fine. My parents, they're on a freakin' date right now.
Eric: Well, you know, that's nice.
Donna: With other people.
Eric: You know, the more the merrier. It takes some of the pressure off.
Donna: They're each dating the other people.
Eric: But they're married. [off Donna's look] Oh, God!
Donna: See? I mean...
Eric: I don't know.

Donna: Okay, so... What's your take on that?
Eric: I got nothing.
Donna: What am I gonna do?
Eric: I don't know. So, hey, who's your stupid boyfriend?
Donna: Uh, you are.
Eric: Hey, at least I'm trying to get smarter, right?
Donna: Thank you.

Kitty: I don't know any Mormons that do that.
Red: Not without a permit, anyway. [Kitty laughs] You know, Kitty, this ended up being a pretty good birthday after all.
Kitty: Oh, yay! Happy birthday.
Red: Thanks.
Kitty: What is this?
Red: Ah, corn chips.
Kitty: Birthday boy.