Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.

Kelso: Well, Donna, turns out Brooke doesn't like intelligent men.
Hyde: Kelso, you didn't have sex with her, man, just let it go.
Brooke: [enters] Michael, I need to talk to you.
Kelso: Yeah, about what?
Brooke: About our night together at the Molly Hatchet concert.
Kelso: [smiles] Excuse me. [to Fez] Burn! [to Donna] Burn! [to Eric] Burn! [to Jackie] Burn! [to Hyde] Burn!
[Kelso runs upstairs into the kitchen]
Kelso: [to Kitty] Burn! [to Red] Burn.
[Kelso runs out the sliding door and down the stairs back to the basement]
Kelso: Burn. We totally did it!
Brooke: Michael, I just found out I'm pregnant.
Kelso: I never touched her.

Fez: Guys? I love this place. I want to work here.
Hyde: You just said you hated it.
Fez: Yeah, but I went up to the counter, and the guy treated me like crap. But he was treating everybody like crap. Poor, rich, black, white. We're all crap. And look at him. Think he was popular in high school? No way. But now he's the belle of the ball. Well, my friends, it's my turn to get a taste of those balls.

Jackie: Hey, Steven. I had fun last night.
Kelso: You had fun doing what?
Jackie: Huh? Hey, Michael. Um, I went to the movies. Right, Donna?
Donna: Oh, um, I don't know. I was with Eric all night. But I'm really interested in this movie. Why don't you tell us all about it?
Jackie: Donna? Fine. You know, it's that new movie starring that big, red whore.
Donna: Oh, you mean, the one where the big, red whore is sick of people keeping secrets.
Jackie: No. No, no. The one where the big, red whore keeps sticking her big, red nose in places where it doesn't belong.
Eric: Hey. Watch what you say about the big, red whore.
Fez: Thank you, Eric. What did Sissy Spacek ever do to any of you? [walks off]
Kelso: Way to go, guys. You know how he feels about Sissy! Fez, wait!

[circle: Kitty and the girls are eating Sundaes in the kitchen:]
Kitty: And here I am ecstatic, and Red comes home babbling about his precious Corvette. Well, I'll tell you something. I may be the one who's pregnant, but I did not get that way by myself. He's the one who wouldn't go to sleep.
Jackie: You know, Mrs. Forman, there are other ways of dealing with that. I mean, have you tried telling him you just like him as a friend?
Donna: You're carrying Red's baby. He should be kissing your ass. God! Why are men such jerks? Huh? Tell me.
Eric: Well, I just came in here for the ice cream, so I'm just gonna make mine to go.
Kitty: Men plant their seed and think their work is done. But women have a being growing inside of us the size of a wine jug. It's got to come out somehow. Oh, oh, oh. It's like that nature show, you know where the snake eats an antelope in one bite, and you're thinking, "Impossible." And then it-it-it unhinges its jaw, and in it goes. Well, giving birth is just like that, only the other direction. And I need your father there, holding my hand and telling me it's okay because I can't swallow an antelope alone.
Eric: No, you can't. And no woman should have to. That bastard.