Kitty: [inner monologue] My goodness, that Woody Allen is neurotic. Well, if I lived in New York, I'd be in therapy, too. The streets are filthy.

Jackie: Just admit it, Donna. Patty is totally wrong for Fez.
Donna: Well, Jackie, we've never seen you quite this transparent before.
Jackie: What are you talking about?
Donna: "She's so awful, Donna!" "Let's hate her forever, Donna!" "Let's shave her head and run her out of town, Donna!"
Jackie: Focus, Donna! We're ragging on Patty, remember?

Leo: Okay. Pay me.
Hyde: Leo, I gotta help the customer, man. I think he's gonna drive away.
Leo: Eh, let him go. I don't need his stinkin' photo money. I'm a doctor.
Hyde: Okay, man, you know what? That's it. This game is over, man. This is not life. This is life!
Leo: Yeah, but this life is so much better than this life, man. In the, in the game, I got kids, man. In real life, my kids split on me.
Hyde: Really, man?
Leo: Yeah.
Hyde: My parents split on me.
Leo: Oh, wow. Now we found each other. Hey, do you wanna be my father?
Hyde: Sure.
Leo: Okay. Go ahead. Spin, Dad.

Eric: Fez has a girlfriend?
Donna: Mmm-hmm.
Eric: Our little Fez?
Jackie: You're kidding? I mean, good! God, he was so in love with me, it was getting embarrassing.
Eric: Right.

Eric: So, anyways, you guys, how do you know when you need new underwear?
Donna: Uh, hmm. If you're asking, you need new underwear.

Jackie: Hi, I'm Jackie. I'm sure Fez has told you all about me.
Patty: Um, no. No, your name never came up.
Jackie: What? Well... whatever.
Fez: Okay, isn't this pleasant, huh? Um, Patty, have a seat.
Jackie: Fez, she's lovely. I'm impressed.
Fez: Um, Jackie, I'm a little busy right now, okay? Thank you.

Eric: So, Hyde, what's with Fez and that girl? Did you really go out with her?
Hyde: Yeah, no biggie. She sucked, anyway. He can have her.
Kitty: So Fez has a girlfriend?
Eric: Still, I mean, what's that about? Fez snaggin' a girl away from you? I... never thought I'd see the day.
Kitty: So what's she like?
Eric: It's just so Twilight Zone, I mean, to see Fez...
Red: Eric! Your mother asked you a question about the foreign kid.
Eric: What? Oh. What?
Kitty: No. Never mind.

Red: Okay. That's it. Eric, you're gonna spend some time with your mother.
Eric: What'd I do?
Kitty: Red, don't make it sound like a punishment.
Red: Well, it is.
Kitty: Red!
Red: You can look at it any way you want, but it's gonna happen, damn it.

Kelso: Hey, you guys, The Eagles are on Don Kirshner's Rock Concert tonight.
Eric: Oh, man, I'm gonna miss The Eagles because I gotta, I gotta... I'm busy.
Donna: Do we have a date tonight?
Eric: No. I wish. [clears throat] I'm goin' to a movie. With my mom.
Hyde: He's got a special night out with mommy.
Kelso: Hey, maybe you'll get lucky. [off their looks] And your mom'll pay for the movie! God, you people are sick.

Eric: So, where are you guys goin'?
Fez: Um, we are going to the Red Lobster for a romantic dinner of Red Lobster.
Patty: I'll see you guys later.