Eric: Donna, is it me, or... Does your dad hating me make me even more sexy?
Donna: Sure.
Eric: Yeah, I think he senses my bad-boyness.
Donna: Yeah, Eric, you're a parent's worst nightmare.
Eric: Yes. Yes, I am.

[Kitty sneaks out of the house backwards and lights a cigarette as Eric and Donna watch]
Eric: Mom, what are you doing?
Kitty: Nothing. And you, you just... You do as I say, not as I do.
Laurie: Oh, hey, Mom, cool. Give me a drag.
Kitty: Okay, see? Now Laurie is doing as I do. That is wrong.
Red: What's going on out here? [Laurie tosses the cigarette on the ground and Eric steps on it] Eric, are you smoking again?
Laurie: I think he is, Daddy.
Kitty: No, he is not.
Eric: I don't smoke!
Kitty: I think this might be my fault. I think he is, he's just imitating me so he can look cool.
Donna: Mr. and Mrs. Forman, Eric got caught holding my cigarette at school. I'm the one who was smoking.
Kitty: Oh.

Eric: Whoa. Donna, that's a cigarette.
Hyde: Even worse, it's a menthol. You're gonna get suspended, little lady.
Eric: When did you start smoking?
Donna: What? You just saw me light it.
Eric: That's ha, ha, ha. Come on, Donna. You know smoking causes cancer.
Donna: I know, but it makes me look cool, so it's an even trade.

Eric: Wow, Donna, first you fail English, now you're smoking? Can I ask you what, what are you doing?
Donna: Smoking. Failing.
Mr. Brownberg: Hey, Forman. Smoking on school property?
Donna: No, that's not his. That's mine.
Eric: No, it's, uh... It's mine. [smokes] Yeah. Mmm. Menthol.
Donna: Eric, quit it.
Mr. Brownberg: Yeah, ok. Let's go, Forman.
Hyde: [picks up cigarette] Dios mio. No es bueno.

Donna: He told them it was his cigarette, and that's stupid.
Eric: Please, Donna, stop. Don't fall all over yourself thanking me.
Donna: I didn't need your help.
Hyde: Yeah, Forman. I think she wants to get in trouble. It's Donna's little cry for help. [high-pitched] Help me! Help me! [normal voice] We hear you, Donna, and we love you.
Donna: Get bent. You guys are jerks.
Kelso: Wait. Why am I a jerk? I don't even know what's going on.

Mary: So then my pastor said it's okay to get a "B" every once in a while. Nobody's perfect, except... You know who.
Hyde: You know, it's just so refreshing to meet someone whose beliefs are the complete opposite of mine.
Mary: I know. Well, I'm Episcopalian, and my best friend's Presbyterian, but, we're still best friends. It's hard work, but it's worth it. [giggles]
Hyde: I bet you make really good punch, huh?
Mary: Oh, my gosh. The best.

Kelso: Jackie, get in the van!
Jackie: No!
Kelso: Jackie, get in the van!
Jackie: No!
Kelso: Get in the van.
Jackie: No!
Kelso: Jackie...
Jackie: No!
Kelso: Jackie, get in the van!

Kelso: Come on, Jackie. Just get in the van.
Jackie: No.
Kelso: Jackie, just get in the van.
Jackie: No.
Kelso: Jackie.
Jackie: No.
Kelso: Get in the...
Jackie: No.
Kelso: Jackie.
Jackie: No!
Kelso: Jackie, get in the van!
Jackie: No.
Kelso: All right. I'm just gonna leave now.
Jackie: Bye.
Kelso: Aw, damn it, Jackie, get in the van!
Jackie: Nope.

Mary: I heard G-11. So, naturally I yelled out "Bingo!" Boy, was the pastor cheesed at me.
Fez: Great story. So you are a blonde?
Mary: Yeah. Natural.

Hyde: I can't believe you like all the same bands that I like.
Patty: Yeah. I just like music that's passionate and rebellious and really pisses off my dad.
Mary: Oh, Patty, don't say piss. Oh!
Hyde: Hey, you know what'd really piss off your dad? You and me grab a 12-pack and stay out all night.
Patty: Oh, I can't. I have a big test tomorrow.
Hyde: That's funny. Let's go.
Patty: No, really. I've gotta go study.
Hyde: Study? You don't study. You've got a tattoo.
Patty: Look, Hyde, rebellion is cool and all, but I want to get into a good college so I can fight the system from the inside. It was nice meeting you, though. Mary?
Mary: Oh, no. Go ahead without me. So, Fez, um, my parents aren't home. Wanna come back to my house? I have a hot tub.
Fez: That would be super.