Kitty: I don't like the looks of these people. They seem like they could tease a polite young man about his sweater and then laugh when he starts to cry. Where is my baby?
Donna: See, that's the problem. Maybe if you didn't baby Eric so much he wouldn't have had to leave to prove himself.
Kitty: Well, maybe if you hadn't exhausted him with your sexual demands, he wouldn't have had to leave just to get some sleep.

Donna: Eric, your mom called me a whore.
Kitty: Only because I was worried about you, and because I love you more than she does.
Eric: Worried? What... What did you guys think happened?
Kelso: Well, we figured you were either dead, alive, or kidnapped by coyotes. Looks like I was right on the money.

Leo: Hey, I got that waitress's phone number.
All: Leo?
Leo: Hey, it's great to see you guys.
Kelso: It's great to see you, Leo.
Leo: So, do I know you, man?

Fez: Okay, here's what I think, you two were hot for each other when the relationship was secret, forbidden, taboo. But when it was out in the open, the thrill was gone. It was no longer taboo. Then you started pushing for commitment and you started pulling away.
Hyde: Hmm.
Jackie: So how do we move on from here?
Fez: Move on? There will be no moving on. Your relationship was one of the sickest freaking things I've ever seen. You are two deeply disturbed individuals and your union... Well, your union was a blasphemy.
Hyde: So you're saying that if we hooked up again, it'd be even wronger than before?
Jackie: It can get wronger? Well, that's kind of hot.
Hyde: Fez, I think maybe you should leave the room now.
Fez: Oh, no, no. You two cannot be together. I can't watch. I'm leaving. Hey, who am I kidding? I can watch all night.

Donna: Eric, don't listen to him. I have complete confidence you're gonna be the best traveling docu-what's-it-who-maker ever.
Eric: Thank you.
Kitty: Do you have enough money?
Eric: Mom, I don't need that much money. I'm sure that at stops along the way, strangers will just offer me hot pots of beans in exchange for colorful stories from the road.
Kitty: Hot pots of beans? What if they're spicy? You can't even chew cinnamon gum.

Jackie: Wow. You know, I think this is the first time we've been alone together since, uh...
Hyde: Yeah.
Jackie: Well, maybe we can use this opportunity to touch base about our feelings.
Hyde: Or we can watch TV.
Jackie: Great! Oh, I love TV.
Clyde: [on TV] Oh, Janie, it's so hard to be in the same room with you because even though I'm a rough ne'er-do-well, my love for you burns like a fire deep in my soul.
Janie: [on TV] I feel the same, Clyde, and even though we broke up because you won't marry me, I still hope that one day we'll get back together.
Hyde: What are the chances of that?

Jackie: Have you seen the new...
Hyde: Did you ever see...
Jackie: Go ahead.
Hyde: I saw...
Jackie: See, the other day I...
Hyde: You said, "Go ahead."
Jackie: Yeah, I said it to be nice. My story is much more interesting.
Hyde: Well, go ahead, because I'm not gonna listen.
Jackie: Well, fine then, 'cause I'm not gonna tell you.

Waitress: You boys need anything else?
Eric: Uh, no, we're just waiting for the mechanic I met in the parking lot to come back with my spare tire and change.
Waitress: Honey, there's no mechanic around here.
Eric: Uh, no, there is. It's this skinny guy. I gave him 20 bucks and he just ran off.
Waitress: That'd be Earl. He's a speed freak.

Red: All right, that's enough, you two. If Eric's in trouble, he deserves it because he should know better by now.
Kitty: You sound like you don't care at all.
Red: It's not a matter of not caring, it's a matter of not giving a crap.
Kelso: Hey, Red, they got Rhinestone Cowboy. Toss me a quarter.
Red: Shut up.

Donna: For your information, Eric comes after me a lot more than I go after him.
Kitty: You know, all you damn redheads are the same. You can color it blonde, but it's still there.