Amy: Uh, why can't we talk about Myrtle?
Laurie: Uh, because we had to fire Myrtle. So we don't need people asking those kinds of questions.
Jonah: What kind of questions?
Laurie: You know, who knows? We're not hiding anything, so I really couldn't guess.

Glenn: 7.594 billion people. How are we not sinking? I feel like I'm sinking.

Jonah: Repeated absences, bad attitude, insubordination. I'm surprised Myrtle wasn't fired sooner.
Amy: No, look at these dates. All of these are within the last six months. What... she just goes 30 years without a single write-up and overnight gets bad at her job?
Jonah: Well, she was not great.
Amy: No, I know, she's been not great at her job for 30 years, so why all of a sudden is Glenn writing her up?
Jonah: It's not Glenn. Jeff Sutton, Jeff Sutton, Jeff Sutton. Since when does a district manager write up floor workers?
Amy: We have to talk to Jeff. Or I have to talk to Jeff.
Jonah: Well, I want to talk to him too.
Amy: Well, you can talk to whoever you want. I'm not in charge of who you talk to.

Woman: Hi! Are you Alejandro?
Jeff: No, sorry.
Woman: Oh, sorry, wrong car.
Jeff: Alejandro has five stars. I'd love to meet him.

Amy: We can't let corporate get away with this.
Jonah: Yeah, if Myrtle can be fired just because of her age then who's next?
Dina: Probably Dale.
Mateo: I think Henry's older, actually.
Cheyenne: It goes Henry, Dale, Brett, Todd.
Garrett: Dude, Todd's like 40.
Dina: Really? He looks bad for 40.
Mateo: Have you seen his wife though? Oh, she is so beautiful.
Amy: Okay, guys, can we bring it back?
Mateo: She's Nordic.

Amy: Feels weird to just be scrolling through someone's e-mails.
Jonah: Can't you just search some keywords?
Amy: Like what?
Jonah: I don't know, ageism, discrimination.
Amy: Oh, right, "Hey team, how's the ageism discrimination going?"
Jonah: That's a good point.
Amy: Oh, Jane Austen Superfan Convention Pics? That's probably not it.
Jonah: But, we should probably open it just to be safe.
Amy: Yeah, let's not take any chances.

Laurie: Hey, so this is Glenn, the general manager.
Neil Penderson: Glenn, I've heard a lot about you.
Glenn: You have? What did you hear? It's just that there's another Glenn that works here and people mix us up.
Neil Penderson: Oh.
Glenn: Glenn is nice, though. He's Black. Not... Not "he's nice, though he's black." Just he's very nice and very Black. Maybe it would help if I did an impression of him for you. Yo, yo, Glenn, my man, can I get five...
Neil Penderson: That's not necessary. We're good. Thank you. [to Laurie] He knows his people.
Laurie: He's great.

Neil Penderson: As you all know, a year ago this store was hit by a tornado. But they rebuilt. And the man leading that rebuilding is a man who represents the best of Cloud 9, Glenn Sturgis! [applause] Here you go, Glenn.
Glenn: Thank you, Neil. You know, I love this store. Cloud 9 is more than just... [soft flatulence] [silence]
Neil Penderson: I'm sure it's hard to find the words. But let me just say on behalf of all of us...
Glenn: That wasn't me.
Neil Penderson: I know. No, it's fine.
Glenn: It was him. So if you're laughing, you are laughing at our CEO. I'm... I'm sorry, Neil, go on.
Neil Penderson: Um, okay. Okay, and, um, just for the record it wasn't... You know what, doesn't matter.
Glenn: Yeah, it doesn't matter. You had a human moment. Could have happened to anyone. This time it was you.
Neil Penderson: I'm not the one who farted.
Glenn: Then how do you know what happened? For someone who's so innocent, you sure seem to have a lot of information.
Neil Penderson: You're the one who farted.
Glenn: You farted.
Neil Penderson: No, you...
Glenn: You farted!
Neil Penderson: Thank you, Glenn. [scattered applause]
Glenn: [sits down] He farted.
Garrett: Yeah, yeah, sure.
Glenn: Right on me, and then I dragged it over here.

Jonah: Did you find anything yet?
Amy: Well, she Postmated three times last night. Whoa. What's the story there?
Jonah: We don't have a lot of time.
Amy: Oh, right. Oh, okay, minimizing costs by downsizing legacy employees.
Jonah: Yeah, that. Pr... that. Print that.
Amy: On it. Print. Wait, she Postmated ramen this morning? Ugh, what's going on with her?

Dina: [sings] ♪ Oh Danny ♪ ♪ Boy I love you ♪ ♪ So ♪ And that was my great-great grandfather. He's not relevant to this.