Dan: Mateo, you have changed my life. You're a genius.
Mateo: Well, I wouldn't say genius. Style icon, maybe. Social influencer? I mean, yeah, at the very least.
Dan: Oh, it's my wife. She's making salmon tonight. Ah, it's so dry. Hang on... you always know what to do and say. Maybe you could call her for me and let her know I hate her salmon.
Mateo: Uh... yeah, I could... I could do that. I'm sorry, um... I just... technically I don't think it's part of my job.
Dan: Well, technically... you probably shouldn't even have the job, you know, 'cause the whole undocumented thing, so... we're kind of off the map here, huh? We're helping each other out. Doing each other a couple of solids. Two guys, two solids. And... there we go.
Mateo: [on the phone] Hi, this is Mateo. I... I work with your husband. Um... what's for dinner?
Dan: That's perfect. That's perfect.

Amy: Look, guys, I'm sorry. I... it was supposed to be a really quick, 15 minute power nap. But my alarm decided it knew better than me, and let me sleep for four hours.
Jonah: It sounds like your alarm just wanted you to have a little self care, you know?
Amy: Well, I think self care means the self is doing the care.

Amy: Look, guys... can we just please move past this and get back to work?
Marcus: Oh, so we have to work while you lie on a diamond bed and have unicorns feed you grapes?
Corey: Yeah, if you can do self care at work, why can't we?
Amy: Fine. You know what, if you feel like you need some self care, then you should take a break every now and then.
Marcus: Fine, we're doing it right now. I'm gonna self care so hard. Come on.

Garrett: Buddy, I think you're working too hard. Maybe you should start messing things up and Dan will stop asking you to do stuff.
Mateo: You don't get it, okay? Why are you covering your chin?
Garrett: I'm not. I'm just... I'm thinking, dude. I'm thinking about your problem. [sighs] Quite the conundrum, indeed.

Amy: [over PA] Attention Cloud Nine team members, we need associates on checkouts two, three, and four. If anybody out there feels like they've made their point, could you please get back to work? Thank you.

Cheyenne: Hey, Amy, this is Wendell, who you spoke with over the phone? Remember, when you were being super professional and you agreed to move the health and safety inspection to today?
Amy: Yes, hi... how could I forget? Uh, Wendell, so nice to put a face to such a familiar voice.
Wendell: [clears throat] Maybe we could start in the café.
Amy: Um... no, no, not the café. Why don't we start somewhere else, like, um... not jewelry. The... let's start in the parking lot. Yeah, this way.

Glenn: Come on, Dina. Isn't there anything you wanna say to me? Your... your dad?
Dina: I guess I've always wished that you'd been around to teach me how to ride a bike.
Glenn: Great. Well, maybe I can help you get some closure there.
Dina: Okay, yeah. That would be nice.
[cut to Dina watching as Glenn pedals on a stationary bike]
Glenn: How is this teaching you to ride a bike?
Dina: Oh, I'm a visual learner.

Wendell: I'll start with the positives. Most of your store was not on fire. Unfortunately, the part that was on fire knocked your score down to a 65.
Amy: Oh, my God. Look, Wendell, could we maybe just, please, schedule a do-over?
Wendell: Oh, no, no, no, no. You passed. You only needed a 60.
Jonah: What?
Amy: We passed?
Cheyenne: Did you see all the raccoons out...
Amy: Cheyenne, stop trying to help.

Sandra: [on an inversion table] I use mine all the time. Soups, stews... pretty much any wet food.
Woman: Okay, great, and what is the return policy?

Mateo: And this is a linen blend, so it should have that "boardroom to boardwalk" feel she wanted.
Dan: Thank you, Mateo. Her legs really need the win. By the way, you know, you really got in her head about the salmon thing, so I was thinking it might just be easier if you came over and cooked dinner for us tonight.
Mateo: Oh... uh... [knocks over display] Whoops! I'm so clumsy. God, you probably can't even trust me with dinner. I would just drop it all over the floor.
Dan: Relax, it's fine. I mean, what am I gonna do? Ask someone else? [chuckles] I mean, someone documented probably wouldn't do any of this stuff anyway, right?
Mateo: I guess not.
Dan: So, anyway... toward the end of dinner, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and then you can tell Donna I'm not ready to have kids.
Mateo: What? I'm supposed to tell your wife that? Absolutely not.
Dan: Huh?
Mateo: My job is not to fix your life, okay? It's to work in the Vision Center. And maybe the fun fashion stuff, but that's it.
Dan: Mateo, you're right. I've been exploiting you. I wasn't meaning to, but you... you're just so cool and you know so much and I thought it was just, you know, a standard exchange of solids. God, I feel like a terrible person.
Mateo: Well, I wouldn't say that you're...
Dan: No, I am. Now let's put our heads together and figure out how you're gonna make me a better one.