Mateo Quote #303
Mateo: And this is a linen blend, so it should have that "boardroom to boardwalk" feel she wanted.
Dan: Thank you, Mateo. Her legs really need the win. By the way, you know, you really got in her head about the salmon thing, so I was thinking it might just be easier if you came over and cooked dinner for us tonight.
Mateo: Oh... uh... [knocks over display] Whoops! I'm so clumsy. God, you probably can't even trust me with dinner. I would just drop it all over the floor.
Dan: Relax, it's fine. I mean, what am I gonna do? Ask someone else? [chuckles] I mean, someone documented probably wouldn't do any of this stuff anyway, right?
Mateo: I guess not.
Dan: So, anyway... toward the end of dinner, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and then you can tell Donna I'm not ready to have kids.
Mateo: What? I'm supposed to tell your wife that? Absolutely not.
Dan: Huh?
Mateo: My job is not to fix your life, okay? It's to work in the Vision Center. And maybe the fun fashion stuff, but that's it.
Dan: Mateo, you're right. I've been exploiting you. I wasn't meaning to, but you... you're just so cool and you know so much and I thought it was just, you know, a standard exchange of solids. God, I feel like a terrible person.
Mateo: Well, I wouldn't say that you're...
Dan: No, I am. Now let's put our heads together and figure out how you're gonna make me a better one.
Superstore Quotes
‘Self-Care’ Quotes
Quote from Justine
Marcus: She is! She's sleeping.
Jonah: Guys, okay, look. She's been working very hard.
Justine: Unlike us? I haven't stopped working since my shift started.
Jonah: Yeah, that's... That's kind of the deal.
Quote from Cheyenne
Jonah: Just a 15 minute power nap. Look, I've recreated your ideal sleep scenario. Okay so warm light, one pillow for your head, one pillow to hug. A laptop cued to the 11 o'clock news...
Cheyenne: Oh, and here's my night guard, in case you need it.
Amy: Um... no, thank you. Guys... I'm the manager of the store. I can't take a nap.
Jonah: Oh, come on. You need to recharge a little. You don't wanna end up collapsing in the store like Glenn.
Cheyenne: Yeah, or, like, falling asleep on the toilet with your underwear around your ankles, so when we find you, it looks like you passed out from pooing too hard, and then every time we look at you we're gonna think, "Oh, my God, that's the lady that pooed so hard she passed out." Is that what you want?
Amy: No, I... I honestly can't say that I want any of that.
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Oh, yeah, no, I am fine. In fact, I'm not pre-diabetic anymore.
Dina: You're cured? How's that possible?
Glenn: Oh, no I'm not cured. I'm just completely diabetic now. I bonked out because my body thought that I had too much sugar in my bloodstream. Agree to disagree. But anyway, my doctor says I can manage it all with just a few tweaks to my lifestyle.
Dina: Tweaks? You face plant in the break room and your doctor prescribes tweaks?
Glenn: Not bad, huh? Looks like I picked the right doctor.
Dina: How could he not notice your patchy skin, your weight gain, how your breath smells like a Jolly Rancher no matter what you've just eaten?
Glenn: Hey, Jerusha loves that. Every morning she asks me to breathe into her car.
Dina: Okay... tweaks aren't gonna cut it. You need to do a complete lifestyle overhaul. I carried your baby for nine months and I'm not gonna let her get abandoned the way I did. It's not fun going to a baseball game with your principal or learning how to skip stones from a pamphlet you had to send away for.
Glenn: I am not going to abandon Rose. The Sturgises all live into their 90s. We have kind of a deal... [points to the heavens] Anyway, I'm gonna be fine. Hey, Masoud! Guess who's not pre-diabetic anymore!