Jonah: I was just trying to have some fun.
Amy: This might be a cultural thing, but around here, the less screwing everything up you do, the better.
Jonah: You talking about the cans or the pricing thing?
Amy: You see, the fact that it's your first day and there's already more than one option of things you screwed up is not a good thing.
Jonah: Okay, I've made some mistakes. I can admit that, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun at work, does it? Or try and find some moments of beauty in the everyday?
Amy: Wait, I'm sorry. Did you really just use the phrase "moments of beauty," like, conversationally?
Jonah: Okay, yes, that's cheesy, but... Do you remember American Beauty? Even a plastic bag can be breathtaking. [throws bag in the air]
Amy: Wow. That really blew my mind. Like... [mimics explosion] I have goose bumps.
Jonah: I felt something. [to Brett, who picked up the bag] I'm Jonah. It's my first day.

Male Narrator: The American superstore. One-stop shopping for everything you could ever want or need. Do you want to be thinner? Fatter? Happier? Sadder? Are you looking for friendship? Or solitude? Or even love?
Amy: That's actually a cubic zirconia knockoff. It's called PlastiClear.
Bo: What happened to the $8 ones?
Amy: We're all sold out of those, sorry. But this one's only $2 more.
Bo: I get it. You advertise the cheap jewelry to get the suckers in the door, then you push the expensive stuff.
Amy: Well, I wouldn't use the word "suckers," or "expensive," or "jewelry."
Man: [sighs] Fine. I got to stand in line for cigarettes anyhow.
Amy: Great. I hope you and your fiancee are very happy together... [quietly] And that you don't procreate.

Jonah: I know. I don't seem like the kind of person who would work in a place like this. [laughs]
Amy: Yeah, that's why I was so surprised. I was like, "What?"
Jonah: "What?"
Amy: "Him?"
Jonah: "What's he doing cleaning up toilet paper?"
Amy: I think it's because you just... you have this very intelligent, educated, more cultured quality, I mean, compared to...
Jonah: Yeah. Oh, hey. Look, I get that you're complimenting me, but it might sound a little condescending, so, you know...
Amy: Oh, yeah, thanks. No, I wouldn't want to sound condescending in front of somebody who works here.
Jonah: Right. [laughs]
Cheyenne: [moaning] Hey, can I run out for two minutes? This thing is kicking my bladder like it owes him money.
Jonah: Oh, you know what, I'm actually not in charge...
Amy: Yes, of course. I'll take Carly off express. And Vivian can bag, so take as long as you need.
Cheyenne: Ah, thanks.
Amy: [to Jonah] Little tip: don't let the other workers here know how much better than them you are. They hate that. I don't know why. Maybe because it sounds condescending. Welcome.

Glenn: Anyway, I am so proud to welcome two new angels to our Cloud 9 family. Why don't you introduce yourselves?
Jonah: [stands up] [clears throat] Okay. Hello, everyone. I am Jonah. And I am... I am excited to be here. This is gonna be fun, so... [sits down]
Mateo: [stands up] My name is Mateo Fernando Aquino Liwanag, and I'm here to make something of myself. [sings]
Spread my wings [talks] Whoo! See how far I can fly. Thank you, thank you, thank you. [sits down]
Jonah: [stands up] Yeah, I, too, would like to see how far I can fly. So... [sits down]
Amy: Saved it.
Jonah: Thank you.

Woman: Oh, excuse me, miss. Do you know the difference between a stool softener and a laxative?
Amy: I'll be right with you, ma'am. Cheyenne, what's going on?
Cheyenne: My boyfriend just asked me to marry him.
Woman: I don't want it soft. I want it out of me.
Amy: You know, I hadn't realized earlier that Cheyenne was the lucky girl you'd be proposing to.
Bo: Yeah, well, I knocked her up, so my dad says I have to. [Cheyenne squeals joyfully]
Amy: So romantic.
Bo: That's how I do it, yo. 100% love.
Woman: Bulking agent? Why would I want more bulk?
Amy: Ugh. Chey, you didn't say yes, did you?
Cheyenne: Why wouldn't I say yes?
Amy: Um... Cheyenne, look at me. I know how easy it is to get swept up in the... romance of all of... this. But... think it through, okay? Don't do something you're gonna regret for the rest of your life.
Woman: Yeah, okay. I'm gonna go sleep on it.

Cheyenne: If you sign up for our Heavenly Shoppers program today, you'll save 15% off your purchase, which would drop your price to 22c.

Garrett: [over PA] Yeah, you better hurry up, girl. You better get that TV.

Cheyenne: Okay. Stay still.
Dina: I don't usually wear eyeliner. Sharpie occasionally, but...
Cheyenne: So tell me about this special guy.
Dina: Okay. Male, Caucasian, no discernible scars or tattoos.
Cheyenne: Sounds dreamy.
Dina: Yeah.
Cheyenne: You know, speaking of boys, I've got a pretty big decision to make. My boyfriend, he...
Dina: I'm glad we could bond like this. Thank you. [walks away]

Mateo: Excuse me, excuse me! Hi! I hung up everything that was in the dressing rooms, and I organized it by style, color, size, and relevance of designer.
Amy: Wow. Good job.
Mateo: I enjoy hard work. It's just like my mom always said: "If you don't work hard, Baby Jesus will cry."
Amy: Okay.
Mateo: I don't think I could be happy fooling around in the parking lot like the other new guy.

Jonah: Slow down! This is not fair! You have more experience on wheels than I do!
Garrett: Your disability is not my concern!