Mateo: I took the initiative upon myself to reorganize the toy section for the convenience of adult shoppers. It was just feeling overly whimsical.
Jonah: I want to show you something I've been working on.
Mateo: Oh. You were working. Where? Because I've been in every single department, and I haven't seen you in a couple hours, unless you were in, like, the break room maybe.

Jonah: I had nothing to do with this.
Amy: Yeah, I know. This is the fault of YouTube.

Cheyenne: Thank you, on behalf of myself and Bo. [indistinct police radio chatter]
Amy: Well, he did make it memorable. I'll give him that.
Jonah: I mean, most guys don't even bother threatening to kill you when they propose.
Dina: You were never in any real danger. You know that, right?
Jonah: Yeah, I know. It was a fake robbery.
Dina: This is a high-velocity 440-grain lead flat-nose projectile with gas checks and a boxer-primed brass jacket. If he'd come within 10 feet of you, you would have seen his head explode like a watermelon. [mimics explosion] Cleanup on aisle... [laughs] I don't even know what aisle it is, 'cause his brains would be splattered all over the sign. Oh, shoot.

Garrett: Yo, you should come with us, man. We're gonna throw some mannequin limbs in the dumpster and watch garbage men freak out.
Jonah: That sounds awesome.
Garrett: It is awesome. Come on.

Bo: When all these people gonna learn We're gonna get burned Just waiting for our turn Yo, #BlackLivesMatter, y'all. [makes gunshot noise] Okay, if you like what you heard and saw, I'm currently seeking representation in all areas. Also, I do modeling, so I'm just throwing that out there. All right, peace out, St. Louis. M-m-murr!

Glenn: So to welcome our new employees... [Jurassic Park theme plays] Welcome. Welcome to Cloud 9.
Garrett: This is my jam.

Jonah: Hey, do we have any kind of training? I've just been wandering from one department to another, trying to look like I have purpose.
Garrett: It works better if you carry a box. There you go. See? You'll learn as you go. Look, man, only a couple things to remember: always show up on time, don't steal, and stay on the floor supervisor's good side.
Jonah: The fl... who's the floor supervisor? [Garrett points to Amy] [sighs]
Garrett: I got to go get another box.

Jonah: Hey, can we... can we start over? I'm... Jonah, as you know. And you're Ramona.
Amy: Nope, that is not my name. I just don't like random strangers using my name like we're buddies.
Jonah: Right, like how hookers don't like to be kissed on the lips.
Amy: Did you just compare me to a hooker?
Jonah: No.
Amy: You look bored. Let me help you with that. All electronics are supposed to be 25% off, but our POS system is down. So you scan, hit "reassign," "enter," "override, yes," "reduce 0.25," "enter, yes, yes." You are not paying attention.
Jonah: I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Amy: "Confirm," "enter, yes." Got it?
Jonah: If I guessed your name, would you tell me if I was right?

Jonah: Hey. I am killing it over here.
Amy: You're only discounting everything 25%, right?
Jonah: Yeah, "scan, "reassign," "yes," "override," "yes," "reprice..."
Amy: Reduce.
Jonah: Huh?
Amy: Reduce 0.25. Reprice 0.25? That would change everything to 25c. [shoppers clamoring] Shut it down! Shut it all down!

Amy: Stop selling everything! Shut it down! Shut it all down! Sir, you need to stay right there. Frank, nobody leaves! Ma'am! Ma'am, I'm sorry. I'm gonna need to recheck some of these items.
Woman: No thank you, buh-bye.
Amy: I'm sorry, I can't just let you leave with a whole basket full of 25c tech... Ow!
Woman: I have more where that came from, lady!
Amy: Oh, I don't think so! [both grunting]