‘Pilot’
Season 1, Episode 1 - Aired November 30, 2015
New employee Jonah doesn't make the best first impression with floor manager Amy. Meanwhile, Mateo joins the crew as well, and Bo has a question for Cheyenne.
Quote from Jonah
Jonah: What I'm trying to say is, this is not 25c.
Man: [arguing indistinctly]
Jonah: Sir, no...
Man: [arguing indistinctly]
Jonah: No two-five, no.
Quote from Amy
Woman: It touched my car; it's mine!
Amy: That's not a thing.
Woman: It is a thing.
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: I don't want to be "that guy," but if you had to compare my performance versus Jonah...
Glenn: Uh, okay.
Quote from Dina
Frank: Y'all don't want to do this. Please!
Dina: [fires gun] Sale's over! [ceiling crashes]
Quote from Mateo
Glenn: There's no need to identify whoever it is whose fault this was. We can all learn a lesson here.
Mateo: Would that lesson be not letting Jonah reprice inventory in the future?
Glenn: It might be, yes.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: All right. Punctuality. I do not tolerate it, because I do not tolerate it in myself. I am an angry man, so I get places early...
Quote from Amy
Jonah: Hey, what's-your-name, check it out.
Amy: Ah. I was wondering what was taking so long to stack a few cans.
Jonah: I just... I wanted to reiterate how sorry I am about before.
Amy: And when a customer wants a can of ginger root beer and the whole thing collapses on top of them, how are you gonna feel then?
Quote from Glenn
Amy: Seriously? The only thing I asked you to do was put the carts away.
Jonah: That's what I'm doing, just somewhat circuitously.
Garrett: See you later, sucka!
Amy: Are you trying to get fired? What if Glenn sees this?
Glenn: Coming through! Move!
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: You know, I wish that we could wear jewelry at work.
Amy: Oh, it's so... sparkly.
Cheyenne: You know, I thought about what you said about not doing something that I might regret, but then, in the moment, you know, under the stars, it just felt right. Without you, I would have never said yes, so thank you.
Jonah: Oh.
Cheyenne: Well, I should go bail out my boyfriend now. Or I mean bail out my fiance!
Quote from Amy
Jonah: Hey, wait up. Wait up. Hey, I didn't mean to... That, in there... I just wanted today to feel different than yesterday.
Amy: Well, then you completely failed, because that exact same thing happened yesterday. [laughs] But... thank you. Okay. I really do have to get going. See you at work tomorrow, Jonah?
Jonah: You certainly will... champ.
Amy: [laughs] Amy.
Jonah: Nice to meet you, Amy.