Garrett: Everyone's calm. No eye contact.
Jonah: Seems like a lot of work just to buy some chips.
Garrett: I'm not gonna let some stupid birds stop me from getting my morning Takis.
Jonah: You know we sell Takis in the store, right?
Garrett: Uh-huh, but I like the little ones that come out of the vending machine.
Jonah: Aww, I like learning about your little rituals.

Glenn: Which sweater makes me look more like a wise dad, the charcoal or the smoke?
Amy: Hmm, I think the charcoal.
Glenn: [scoffs] That's the smoke. [chuckles] Dina's right, you don't know fashion.
Amy: Okay. Well, what do you need them for?
Glenn: Oh, I'm making videos of myself for Rose to watch when I'm not home 'cause, you know, I work here 16 to 19 hours a day, so I'm missing a lot of time with her.
Amy: Wait, what why? Why are working that many hours?
Glenn: Well, you know, I get here around 4:00 a.m. to walk the store, and then there's the workday, and then after closing, it takes me two hours to prepare my script for the next morning's break room meeting.
Amy: Those are pre- prepared comments?
Glenn: No, I just come up with all that off the top of my head. Come on, Amy.

Marcus: Oh, man! Oh, God! You do not get used to that pain! Oh! But it'll all be worth it for that look at my mom's face when she takes my shirt off.
Cheyenne: Totally, totally! [both chuckle]

Cheyenne: I [bleep] up.
Mateo: What are you talking about?
Cheyenne: Marcus's tattoo. It's way harder than I thought.
Mateo: I thought you were taking classes.
Cheyenne: I am, but so far, I've only tattooed grapefruits, and I thought it would be the same, but it's not! The skin is all mushy and bleed-y.

Amy: Wow, that's a lot.
Dina: Yeah, what do you think? I had to take down that poster of that missing kid, but I mean at this point... [sighs] I never should've left them in that cheap cage with that crap lock. This is why workplaces need secure, dedicated aviaries.
Amy: Dina, you can't really blame yourself.
Dina: That's sweet of you to say, but I have to take responsibility for what I did. I let my birds escape, and I to live with that for the rest of my life.
Amy: Um, no, Dina-
Dina: No, it's fine. It's fine. I'm already getting used to the feeling. It's just like a like a searing gnawing deep inside my soul. It's very, very specific. Um, oops! [chuckles] Out of flyers.

Woman: Excuse me, this card has a frog and a bear kissing each other.
Amy: Very good, yeah.
Woman: What's next, kangaroos and sharks having full on anal sex? Shame.
Amy: Wow.

Garrett: What are you doing?
Dina: Not gonna need this stuff anymore.
Garrett: I mean, they might still come back. They- Birds have, like, a great sense of direction, right?
Dina: They don't know where the store is. They could be halfway to Mexico by now. That's assuming they didn't find their way into a jet engine or an archery event or a really clear window, all because of me.

Amy: You can't expect me to side with Garrett over Dina.
Jonah: I was expecting you to side with me over Dina.
Amy: Why? Because you're my boyfriend?
Jonah: Yeah, pretty much. That's how it works.
Amy: Well, not for me.
Jonah: Great, well, if you love Dina so much, why don't you go to dinner with her tonight then, huh?
Amy: Oh great, just go on and be a dick.
Jonah: Oh, come on.
Amy: Of course I don't love Dina. I love you.
Jonah: Yeah, well, I love you too, but that has nothing to do with what we're talking about, and I'm pretty sure we both just said that we love each other.
Amy: Yeah, I know what we said!
Jonah: Well, I'm glad you're listening.

Garrett: Portobello! Squeedledee! Russell Crow, where are you guys? Follow my voice!

Dina: Thanks, not just for the sex. But, I mean, it was decent.
Garrett: Sure.
Dina: I mean thanks for being so supportive. I guess we'll always be there for each other, huh?
Garrett: Yup.
Dina: I mean, it was better than decent. It just wasn't great. You know, it was fine. If it were a meal, it would be like, "Oh, that's done." You know? Did I climax? Sure. [eating sandwich] Ah, this is good. I think as soon as this is done, I am going to be ready for round deux.