Glenn Quote #490
Quote from Glenn in Love Birds
Glenn: Which sweater makes me look more like a wise dad, the charcoal or the smoke?
Amy: Hmm, I think the charcoal.
Glenn: [scoffs] That's the smoke. [chuckles] Dina's right, you don't know fashion.
Amy: Okay. Well, what do you need them for?
Glenn: Oh, I'm making videos of myself for Rose to watch when I'm not home 'cause, you know, I work here 16 to 19 hours a day, so I'm missing a lot of time with her.
Amy: Wait, what why? Why are working that many hours?
Glenn: Well, you know, I get here around 4:00 a.m. to walk the store, and then there's the workday, and then after closing, it takes me two hours to prepare my script for the next morning's break room meeting.
Amy: Those are pre- prepared comments?
Glenn: No, I just come up with all that off the top of my head. Come on, Amy.
Superstore Quotes
‘Love Birds’ Quotes
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: [over PA] Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, today we celebrate St. Valentine, a priest who was beaten, stoned, dragged through town, and decapitated. Some say the color red represents the pools of blood around his body. Cute teddy bears are 15% off.
Quote from Dina
Glenn: And that's pretty much it for this morning. [birds screeching] Except remember to be on the lookout for jilted lovers. We'd like to break the streak of revenge stabbings this Valentine's. Any questions?
Jonah: We can't hear anything you're saying.
Glenn: What?
Jonah: We can't hear anything you're saying!
Glenn: I'm sorry. I- I'm having a hard time hearing you over the birds.
Garrett: Maybe Dina shouldn't have brought her loud, dirty birds into work.
Dina: The birds are suffering severe separation anxiety. What am I supposed to do? Leave them home alone?
Amy: I mean, traditionally, that is what you do with pets. [clanging, screeching]
Sandra: If Dina can bring in her birds, I'd like to bring in my cat. He's very sick with dysentery.
Mateo: This is insane. It smells like Toucan Sam's butthole!
Jonah: Just because you eat something fruity, doesn't make your butt smell fruity.
Dina: For birds, it does. Small berries pass through them virtually undigested.
Glenn: Okay, good meeting, everyone!
All: What?
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: Hey, Dina? So I don't know what you thought you saw me and Jerry doing during the blizzard.
Dina: Oh, I know what I saw. It was like Winnie the Pooh with his head in the honeypot.
Sandra: What had happened was I had spilled coffee on my pants, so I took them off to dry, and Jerry came over to help, but he tripped and tipped over into my crotch, so...
Dina: Stop, please. I'm not gonna tell anyone about your little affair.
Sandra: Okay, thank you. I hate having secrets, although the sneaking around has made it even sexier.
Dina: Nope, nope, nope. That's gross.
Sandra: He comes over every night, and sometimes we make lasagna together and eat it off each other's bodies.
Dina: Elias, I'm gonna need you to clean up the vomit that's gonna be all over the ladies' bathroom in about three minutes. [to Sandra] Go on.