Garrett Quote #484
Quote from Garrett in Conspiracy
Garrett: So, uh, what do we think of Havarti cheese?
Jonah: [sighs] I don't know. It's a cheese.
Garrett: All right. You know what, man? This needs to stop. You're over here playing the victim, but you don't even remember all the times that you hurt my feelings.
Jonah: Oh, yeah, what did I do, rank the Predator movies wrong?
Garrett: No, but there was one time I told you I was gonna make dinner. I went all out. I went to, like, three different grocery stores, and then you just texted me and told me you were having dinner with Amy. Totally forgot about it.
Jonah: Oh, well, why didn't you say anything?
Garrett: Because why bring something up just to make your friend feel bad?
Jonah: Garrett, I-I feel terrible. I- I don't even remember.
Garrett: Huh, it's funny how that happens, huh?
Jonah: This is good. This is the communication that we need, you know? This is... This is good for us. Havarti, great cheese on a sandwich, but it's got kind of a creamy body, and so if you're gonna be putting it on the sandwich, it needs to be layered with maybe a crunch...
Superstore Quotes
‘Conspiracy’ Quotes
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.
Quote from Cheyenne
Mateo: What if we had a big public blowout, you know, and we dropped some major bombs?
Cheyenne: Okay, yeah, what if you come at me like, "I know what you did!"
Mateo: Okay. And then you'd be like, "And I know you were only friends with me to get close to Bo because you're in love with him." [Cheyenne gasps] Do you see how I moved the story forward?
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Mateo: Yours was just like attitude, which is fine.
Cheyenne: Yeah, ooh, and then it could come out that you're Harmonica's real father.
Mateo: So her parents are me and Bo?
Cheyenne: Yeah, imagine how pissed I'd be.
Mateo: Let's not commit to anything just yet, but we should definitely jot some ideas down.
Quote from Dina
Glenn: Hey, Dina, we got a problem at the registers. They're not accepting coupons.
Dina: Didn't you get that email? We're only accepting digital coupons now.
Glenn: What?
Dina: Zephra's just updating things a little.
Glenn: It seems crazy to change something that's working.
Dina: The horse and buggy was working. It seemed crazy to stop using that, but then they developed the car, and... Well, that destroyed the planet. That's a bad example.