Amy: Can't believe we're back. Same stupid timecards. Same boring beige halls.
Jonah: Actually, I think that cockroach in the light is new.
Amy: Nope, Ernie's been here longer than me.

Glenn: I'm excited that things are getting back to normal. No more corporate getting all up in our business.
Jonah: Oh, you know that the district manager's still here, right?
Glenn: Jeff? What is Jeff still doing he... You don't think he's trying to find a reason to fire me? Do you?
Amy: No. Glenn, why would they fire you? They just hired you back.
Glenn: Because they're still mad that I gave Cheyenne maternity leave. Maybe they think that people, like, just walk all over me. Like I'm some sort of pathetic Peter.
Jonah: Oh, come on. They don't... they don't think you're... that.
Glenn: You don't know. I mean, these corporate guys, they're out for blood. Okay? They are vicious, savage monsters.

Jeff: You guys have been through a lot in the last two days. Your manager getting fired. Everybody walking out.
Dina: Not everybody walked out. I didn't. She did, he did, those three. I've got a PDF file.
Jeff: Great. Good. Thank you, as always, Dina.

Jeff: Welcome. But the point is, um, that I don't want to just go back to the way things were. I wanna know what we as a company can do better.
Amy: Really? Great. Well, uh... I think we should start with maternity leave.
Glenn: Listen up, ladies and jerks, because I am so not in the mood.
Amy: What is happening?
Jonah: No idea.
Glenn: Okay, I know corporate suits probably think I'm a big, ole softy, but as everyone here knows I'm a hard-ass boss. And I act like this every day, not just today.
Jeff: Okay.
Glenn: Yeah.
Jeff: What we were talking about when you came in was I wanna...
Glenn: Everybody here better do their job or you're all going down.

Jeff: Yeah, so here's what I'd like to do. I'd like to observe how things work when you guys are not in the parking lot screaming like lunatics and then we can go from there. Think we can handle that?
Amy: I guess we'll see.
Jeff: All right.

Amy: I'm sorry, we're the ones who need to change? How about they stop limiting our hours or docking our pay for bathroom breaks? We are not the ones who need to improve here.
[An employee knocks over the display of Pringles cans as he tries to mop them]
Jonah: Yeah, we're pretty perfect. But, look, he wants to hear our complaints.
Amy: Yeah, and then not do anything about them. No matter what we say, he's just gonna be like, "Well, it's a two-way street, so..."
Garrett: Wow, that was spot on.
Jonah: It was like Amy just disappeared.

[As Mateo snakes down an aisle to talk to Jeff, a customer stops him]
Man: Hey, can you tell me where the bathroom is? It's kind of an emergency.
Mateo: I exceeded your expectations? Thank you. Have a heavenly day. Hi! That guy just said I exceeded his expectations. Don't know if you heard.
Jeff: Nice work. I'm Jeff, by the way.
Mateo: No, I know. Mateo. We met yesterday? I was the "loyal, hard-working employee with great skin"? Uh, so now that everything's back to normal, I would love to talk to you about my career here at Cloud 9.
Jeff: Yes, I'm so sorry to do this to you. I just have a bunch to cover today, but nice to meet you, Ma-tato. [walks off]
Mateo: Ma-tato?

Marcus: Oh! I cut myself.
Amy: Already? Well, maybe I should do... Marcus, that looks really bad.
Marcus: Just a nick. It looks worse than it is. Kinda stings a little.
Amy: [gasps] Marcus, is that your thumb?
Marcus: Uh... I don't know.
Amy: You don't know? Why don't you check?
Marcus: I don't wanna.
Amy: Marcus, check!
Marcus: I don't want to.
Amy: To see if your thumb is on your hand.

Marcus: Ah. I need this thumb for work and driving.
Amy: We just need to put it in a cold, air-tight container, we'll get it to the hospital, they're reattach it. It's easy.
Marcus: Promise?
Amy: Mm-hmm. Here. This should do it.
Marcus: Oh, come on, not the guac. It's all slimy.
Amy: You're not gonna feel it.

Mary: "Yeah, I've got a whole PDF."
Dina: Hey! Let's break up this loser squad and get back to work.
Mary: You guys don't hear anything, do you?
Peter: Nope, I can't hear traitors.
Dina: Oh, is that so, Peter? Because I was just coming to tell you that your wife has died. I just got the call.
Peter: I don't have a wife. Everyone knows I'm gay.
Dina: Ha! I knew you could hear me. In your gay face!