Dina: Everybody shut up. I got you all presents.
Jonah: Oh, okay, guys, how nice of Dina to... break into our lockers and give us presents.
Mateo: Yeah, prescription strength deodorant. "Stop stink in its tracks."
Dina: Now that's a gift for all of us, my friend.
Jonah: Thoughtful. In its own way.
Mary: Men's razors?
Dina: For your mustache. You're welcome.
Peter: "Gay Guy."
Dina: Now, I had to order 30 of those, so if you have any gay guy friends, just say the word. Um... okay, no big deal, but usually people say "Thank you" when they get presents. Come on.
Jonah: It's Not All Interesting: How to Tell a Better Story?
Dinah: Now, I don't know if you already have this. I'm assuming you don't.

Glenn: Okay, listen closely. When Jeff comes over, I'm gonna pretend to be mean to you, but it's all an act, okay?
Garrett: You're going too fast. I can't follow.
Glenn: It's simple. I'm gonna say mean things to you, but I don't mean the things I say. So even though I really like you, I might say, "I hate you."
Garrett: Hold up. You hate me?
Glenn: No, I love you. I... why is this so complicated?
Jeff: Hey.
Glenn: Oh, ah, hey, Jeff. I was just telling this employee how lazy I think he is.
Garrett: You think I'm lazy?
Glenn: Yes...
Garrett: I'm sorry. I mean, I-I try really, really hard. I always thought you liked me.
Glenn: I don't. [whimpers and walks off]
Garrett: He right. Actually, I am kinda lazy.

Amy: The last time we saw the thumb it was in a tub of guacamole, but then we found this open tub of guacamole on the floor, so it could be a different guacamole, or else it could be the same guacamole, but the thumb fell out. So the thumb could either be in a guacamole or it could be anywhere. Any questions?
Garrett: Yeah, uh, is it just regular guacamole?
Amy: No, it's, uh... grapefruit, ginger, and lime.
All: Oh.

Mateo: Where's Marcus?
Amy: Marcus is at the hospital. Elias took him. We have 45 minutes to get him his thumb.
Carol: Does the guacamole have nuts in it?
Amy: What? Why does this matter?
Carol: Well, I'm allergic.

Dina: Nobody move. I have something to say.
Jonah: Ooh, I wanna hear this.
Dina: This is a letter to my subordinates that I wrote by myself. Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong". Ugh, starting with a quote. It's like a middle-school book report.

Dina: "So as I seek atonement for my foibles..." that's a little bit much. Um, blah, blah, "The movie Magnolia"? I'm gonna skip that.
Jonah: No, no, that's the best part! I would imagine. It's... it's an excellent film.

Jonah: Hey, so I'm not sure calling people "garbage" reads as an apology.
Dina: Great leaders don't care about being liked. Do you think dogs like Cesar Millan? Heck no, they just want him to stop going, "Chh! Chh! Chh!"
Jonah: Why don't you care if people like you?
Dina: Why do you care if people like you?
Jonah: Because it's important.
Dina: To you.
Jonah: Don't try to flip this, okay? It's a basic human need.
Dina: Of yours.
Jonah: You know what? I don't care how you feel about my need to be liked, and I realize that's kind of a contradiction, but one day...
Dina: Chh! Calm down! Chh! Chh!
Jonah: Stop doing that.
Dina: Chh! There it is.

Amy: Whoever finds the thumb, pick up the intercom and say... I don't know, "strawberry jam."
Garrett: Ooh, but what if something actually happens with strawberry jam?
Amy: I am willing to take that chance.

Amy: You guys, we are so out of time.
Jeff: Hey, guys, what's going on over here? Looks intense.
Glenn: Answer him!
Amy: We were just talking about sales.
Garrett: Yeah, sales orders and utility patents and other words from Shark Tank.

Man: Excuse me, are you the store manager?
Glenn: Heck yeah, I am, guy.
Man: I found a thumb in my guacamole. [all exclaiming]
Garrett: [over PA] Strawberry jam. Strawberry jam.