Gary: Oh, I talked to Debby Bibelo. She said to say hi.
George: Really? You know, Gary, I really have to say, I'm a little bit hurt that you didn't decide to confide in me.
Gary: Well frankly, you can't keep a secret. You know, you get two pair, the whole table knows.
George: Well, I still think it was wrong.
Gary: Right. Well, I'm sorry, all right. I guess I was just thinking of myself.
George: Yes!

Kramer: ...so I called the litterbug a pig, not you. I like policeman. I wanted to be a policeman.
Cop: Yeah? So why didn't you?
Kramer: Scared of being shot.
Cop:Mr Kramer, let me tell you a story. In 1979, I ticketed a brown Dodge Diplomat for parking in a church zone. That fine was never paid. And since then, that scofflaw has piled up more parking tickets than anyone in New
York City. For sixteen years I pursued him, only to see him give me the slip time and time again. I never got a clean look at his face, but he's become my white whale. Mr Kramer, that day was yesterday! But thanks to you, I don't know if I'll ever get that chance again!
Kramer: I like that eye patch.

George: You still owe me a secret.
Gary: All right, listen. There is something I haven't told you, all right?
George: Yeah?
Gary: Yeah, but uhm, you can't tell Jerry.
George: What do think, I tell Jerry everything? It's not like he's my wife.
Gary: Okay. Well, the thing is, I've been living a lie.
George: Just one? I'm living like twenty. [chuckles] What's yours?
Gary: Well, I [laughs] I never actually had cancer. [laughs] I'll see you.

Elaine: So he refused to tell you where he got the glasses?
Kramer: Flat out refused!
Elaine: Yeah, isn't that just like him? You know, he has to be the only one who has them.
Kramer: Yeah, tell me about it, soul sister.

Jerry: Hey. How'd it go with Gary?
George: [avoids eye contact] Fine, fine.
Jerry: Really?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: You look like something's on your mind.
George: No. Nothing. Fine.
Jerry: So, that's your poker face.
George: My regular face.
Jerry: No, it isn't. I've seen your regular face. That is not it.
George: What are you saying?
Jerry: All right, George, come on. What do you got?

George: I got nothing.
Jerry: What you got, a pair of bullets?
George: What you talking about?
Jerry: Two pair? Three of a kind?
George: Will you stop it?
Jerry: Oh, my God. You got a flush! You're holding a flush!
George: I don't have a flush.
Jerry: A full house? You got a full house? Turn them over, George, I wanna see them. Come on, I'm calling! What do you got?!
George: [shouts] Gary Fogel never had cancer!

Elaine: So you see, Kramer took it upon himself to say hi to you from me. When, in fact, it was an unauthorized hi.
Jake Jarmel: You're saying you didn't say hi.
Elaine: That's what I'm saying.
Jake Jarmel: So that's what you came down here to tell me?
Elaine: Correct.
Jake Jarmel: You never said hi?
Elaine: Correct.
Jake Jarmel: You still like me, don't you?
Elaine: Correct. ... What's that?
Man: Hey, I have been trying to get this book signed all day.
Elaine: [takes the book and signs it herself] How can you say that I still like you, when I didn't even say hi to you?
Jake Jarmel: Elaine, coming down here to say that you didn't say hi is more of a gesture than if you did say hi.
Elaine: Uh, Jake... I, uh...

Jerry: Did you know he was so worried about losing more hair if he had to get chemo treatment, I bought him an unlimited gift certificate at the Hair Team For Men, just to put his mind at ease?
George: You did that?
Jerry: Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to talk to this guy.
George: Wait a minute, wait a minute. You can't say anything.
Jerry: Why not?
George: Because he'll know I told you. Besides, he's giving me a parking spot around the corner for practically nothing.
Jerry: So you're telling me, because you're getting free parking, I gotta pretend this guy had cancer when he didn't?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: Well, I don't like it. I don't like it one bit!

Jerry: Gary?
Gary: What do you think? Check it out.
Jerry: Is that from my gift certificate?
Gary: Yeah, buddy. You really came through for me man. You've been so nice. [shakes Jerry's hand]
Jerry: [through gritted teeth] Yeah, well, I'm glad you could take advantage.

Debby: Nice car.
George: Yeah. Once belonged to Jon Voight.
Debby: So, what made you just call me out of the blue like that?
George: Oh, well, uh. Gary told me you said hi.
Debby: I didn't say hi.
George: You didn't?
Debby: Uh, no. I told him to send you my regards. I didn't say hi.
George: Regards?
Debby: Yeah, regards.