Jerry: So he's been lying to me for two months?!
George: That's right.
Jerry: What kind of person is this? There's only one other person who might be able to do something like this, and that's you.
George: Well...
Jerry: I don't even think you could do it.
George: Oh, I could do it.
Jerry: Yeah, I guess you could.
George: [snorts] Come on.

Jerry: Hey. Look at you. What- what's this?
Kramer: It's an eye patch.
Jerry: You look like a pirate.
Kramer: I wanna be a pirate.
Jerry: This is Gary.
Kramer: How you doing?
Gary: All right.
[As Kramer goes to shake Gary's hands, his impaired depth perception leads him to miss Gary's hand by a few inches. Gary walks off.]
Kramer: Well, I tell you there's only one problem.
[As Kramer sits down at the booth, he misjudges the dept and almost slides under the table. He knocks a glass of Coke over.]
Jerry: Can't see on your right side?
Kramer: No. It's uh, it's itchy. [swaps patch to the left eye]

George: Well, what d'you think?
Jerry: I really can't say.
George: No, say. I want you to say.
Jerry: It's not good, okay. It's not good. You look... stupid. I'm sorry.
Salesman: You have to realize this has not been custom-fitted to his scalp.
George: I really think this looks pretty good.
Jerry: Why don't you get a pair of white shoes, move down to Miami Beach and get the whole thing over with?

Gary: Hey, George.
George: Gary? Well, well, well well. Where the hell have you been? I've been leaving you phone messages for months.
Gary: I know. I've been pretty busy.
George: Busy. Don't give me busy. Who's not busy? I'm busy. We're all busy. Everybody's busy. All right, tell me, what's kept you so busy?
Gary: Mostly chemotherapy. Okay, I'll see you.

George: Kramer, I, I, I, uh, I need to talk to Jerry privately.
Kramer: Oh. What about?
George: Kramer.
Kramer: Oh, come on, George. You can share it with me, huh? [grabs George in a headlock]
George: Hey, you're hurting me!
Kramer: You gonna share it with me next time, huh?
George: I swear, I swear!
Kramer: All right, I'm looking forward to it.

George: Right, I got news. You ready? [deep breath] Gary Fogel had cancer.
Jerry: Oh yeah, I knew.
George: You knew? How did you know?
Jerry: He told me a few months ago.
George: Why did he tell you and not me?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: How are you closer to him than me? [Jerry shrugs]

George: So why didn't you tell me?
Jerry: He swore me to secrecy.
George: So?
Jerry: It's not like you're my wife.
George: Well, I still think you should have told me.
Jerry: Hey, believe me, you were better off not knowing. It's not easy to deal with someone in a situation like this. I was so nice to him I almost made myself sick.

Elaine: [enters] Were you just talking about me?
George: No, an old friend of ours, Gary.
Elaine: Oh, the guy with cancer?
George: [shouts at Jerry] You told her? She's not your wife!
Jerry: If I told you, you would have given it away.
George: You don't think I can keep a secret?
Jerry: No, but he would've read your face.
George: You don't trust my poker face?
Jerry: Do you ever win at poker?
George: No.

Jake Jarmel: Okay, K-Man, enjoy the book.
Kramer: Okay, thank you. Listen Jake, uh, where did you get those eyeglass frames?
Jake Jarmel: I can't tell you that.
Kramer: So you don't know where you got 'em?
Jake Jarmel: Yes, I do. But I don't want anyone else to have them.
Kramer: Well, that's peculiar.

George: Eh, there's that woman that never talks to anybody.
Gary: Really?
George: Every day she comes in, she sits at that table and reads. Never talks to anybody.