Elaine: Oh, right. Come on, don't you think they seem a bit too perfect?
Jerry: Yes, they do!
Elaine: I never knew you were so into breasts. I thought you were a leg man.
Jerry: A leg man? Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs.

Jerry: Have you ever seen her naked in the locker room?
Elaine: No.
Jerry: Oh, well, then I can't accept your testimony. Maybe if you had seen her naked.
Elaine: I don't want to see her naked.
Jerry: Well, I do.
Elaine: Well, that's your problem.
Jerry: Look, you made the allegation. The least you could do is follow up.
Elaine: Jerry, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna go in there and spy on her in the sauna?
Jerry: Yes. Go in there. Do a little investigative journalism. I need to know!

George: Can I ask you a question? Would you mind switching seats?
Betsy: Oh, actually, I really prefer to sit here. I don't hear very well out of this ear so, I always try to sit to the right of people.
George: I'll shout.
Betsy: Well, I really think I feel more comfortable here.
George: Come on. Come on. [George stands up and rolls Betsy over to the other side of the couch] See, now, is that so bad?
Betsy: What?

Jerry: You're sure?
Elaine: Positive! This chick's playing with confederate money.
Jerry: Well, then, that's it. That's the end of that.
Elaine: What? Just 'cause of that?
Jerry: Just 'cause of that? It's like finding out Mickey Mantle corked his bat!

George: I know what the problem is. I like her too much. That's why I can't make a move.
Jerry: You put her on a pedestal.
Kramer: I put them on a dental chair.
Jerry: He puts them on a dental chair.
George: I'm not her boyfriend. I want to be her boyfriend.

Kramer: Whoo. It's like a sauna in here.
George: That's funny. You're a funny guy.
Jerry: Yeah, funny. Yeah, I never heard that before.

George: It's in Detroit, though. That's an expensive flight.
Kramer: Why don't you get a "death in the family" fare?
George: What?
Kramer: You go to the airlines, you tell them you have a death in the family? They give you 50% off the fare.
George: Really?
Kramer: In fact, listen, I'll go down there with you. You know, we'll tell them there's a death in my family, you buy the ticket, I'll split it. Then I'll get the bonus miles and you'll get to Detroit for a quarter of the price!

Elaine: Anyway, they're real.
Jerry: Excuse me?!
Elaine: I think they might be real.
Jerry: Oh, what do you know? You have no breast touching experience.
Elaine: I've touched mine!
Jerry: So have I.
Elaine: Oh, right, I forgot.
Jerry: Anyway, touching two breasts doesn't make you an expert.
Elaine: All right, well, anyway, I think they're real. And if they are, I must say they are... spectacular.
Jerry: Aw, what are you doing to me?

Jerry: I don't know. One minute you say they're fake, the next minute you think they're real. I don't know what to believe!
Elaine: Hey, of the two of us, I'm the only one who's touched 'em.
Jerry: But you were just grabbing on to them to save your life. If you were drowning and I threw you a life preserver, you think you could tell me if it was an inflatable?
Elaine: I wouldn't have said anything if I knew you were going to stop seeing her!
Jerry: Well, I don't mind someone with a phony personality, but I gotta draw the line somewhere.

Jerry: Hey. George off to Detroit?
Kramer: Yep! And, in two days, I'm off to Puerto Rico.
Elaine: Hey, Kramer. By the way, I saw that guy at the health club. That is not Salman Rushdie.
Kramer: Pffft. Wrong.