‘The Implant’
Season 4, Episode 19 - Aired February 25, 1993
Jerry breaks up with a woman, Sidra (guest star Teri Hatcher), because Elaine thinks her breasts are fake. George becomes the "consolation guy" when his girlfriend Betsy (Megan Mullally) suffers a bereavement. Meanwhile, Kramer is convinced he saw Salman Rushdie at the gym.
Quote from George
Betsy: Have you met my boyfriend George?
Aunt May: No!
Betsy: George, this is Aunt May and Father Jessup. Oh, and that's my brother, Timmy. This is my boyfriend, George.
Aunt May: Oh, George. How nice of you to come all this way.
George: Well, I'm the boyfriend. Otherwise, what's the point of being the boyfriend? This is where you have to be when you're the boyfriend.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Hey, would you mind switching seats?
Sidra: Why?
Jerry: Oh, I don't know. I just like sitting to the left of people, makes me feel like I'm driving.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: How you doing?
Sidra: Good. How you doing?
Jerry: Good, feel good. You know, that Jayne Mansfield had some big breasts. Really big, huge. Just coming out the top of her dress, they were like, choking her.
Sidra: I hear that's how she died.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Have you noticed that women today are, you know... They seem bigger.
Sidra: Well, a lot of women are having them done.
Jerry: Really?
Sidra: Yeah.
Jerry: How do you like that.
Sidra: A lot of people ask me if I've had mine done.
Jerry: Aw, you know people.
Sidra: It gets a little tiring. It's really none of their business.
Jerry: Oh, the nerve. You know, some people have asked me if you've, uh, done that.
Sidra: What do you tell them?
Jerry: Whatever you want me to tell them.
Sidra: Well, I think you'll find out soon enough.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: [o.s.] Jerry! Come on, it's an emergency!
Jerry: Excuse me. [opens door] All right, what is it? You're interrupting!
Kramer: Well, you know, I'm packing for Puerto Rico, I need to borrow your bathing suit.
Jerry: This is an emergency? You need a bathing suit?
Kramer: Well, I like yours.
Jerry: I don't know, my bathing suit? That's a little familiar, I don't want your...your boys down there.
Kramer: What's the matter with my boys?
Jerry: Your boys should stay in their neighborhood.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: The cosmetic surgery procedures that are available to people today... Liposuction, are you familiar with this? This is a fat-sucking machine. Now you know, somewhere, somebody is working on a way that this thing could go into a restaurant. And you could just order it off the menu. "I tell you what, give me the cheesecake, crank me up to nine, and put a scoop of ice cream on the side."