Jerry Quote #680

Quote from Jerry in The Implant

Jerry: Have you ever seen her naked in the locker room?
Elaine: No.
Jerry: Oh, well, then I can't accept your testimony. Maybe if you had seen her naked.
Elaine: I don't want to see her naked.
Jerry: Well, I do.
Elaine: Well, that's your problem.
Jerry: Look, you made the allegation. The least you could do is follow up.
Elaine: Jerry, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna go in there and spy on her in the sauna?
Jerry: Yes. Go in there. Do a little investigative journalism. I need to know!

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 ‘The Implant’ Quotes

Quote from George

Timmy: Did you just double-dip that chip?
George: Excuse me?
Timmy: You double-dipped the chip!
George: "Double-dipped"? What are you talking about?
Timmy: You dipped the chip. You took a bite. And you dipped again.
George: So...?
Timmy: That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it!
George: Well, I'm sorry, Timmy... but I don't dip that way. [takes a chip]
Timmy: Oh, you don't, huh?
George: No. [dips the chip] You dip the way you want to dip... [bites the chip] I'll dip the way I want to dip. [dips again]

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Oh, how can you be so sure?
Kramer: Jerry, are you blind? He's a writer. He said his name was Sal Bass. Bass. Instead of salmon, he went with bass. He just substituted one fish for another.
Jerry: Look, you idiot. First of all, it's "Salman", not "Salmon".
Kramer: Jerry! Jerry, you're missing the big picture.

Quote from Jerry

Elaine: You've dated women with nose jobs, what's the difference?
Jerry: You don't touch the nose. You don't aspire to reach the nose. You don't unhook anything to get to a nose, and no man has ever tried to look up a woman's nostril.
Elaine: You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?
Jerry: Well, I take it very seriously.
Elaine: You know, sometimes when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.