J.D.: Why are you playing bongos?
Janitor: It's Monday. Monday is Bongo Day.

Carla: So, you have a list of who can and can't come in here.
Dr. Cox: There's the "Always Allowed In" list, the "Sometimes Allowed In" list, and the "Never, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ee-Ever" list.
Carla: Who's on the "Never, Ever, Ever, Ever..."?
[cut to:]
J.D.: Dr. Dorian at your service.

J.D.: How was your weekend, Howie?
Howie: Well, I bought some new soap, but it turns out I was allergic to it. Tried to get a refund, but I lost my receipt.
J.D.: I was hoping you'd just say fine.

Carla: Look, most nurses feel under-appreciated, especially by doctors.
Elliot: It's not that bad here, is it?
[flashback:]
Dr. Mickhead: You know what the M.D. at the end of this badge means? It means, I Make the Decisions. You got that, missy? I'll see you at home.
[present:]
Carla: And sometimes, it's not even that subtle.

Janitor: What d'ya think?
[The painting is hanging by rope in the middle of Dr. Cox's office]
Dr. Cox: Why?
Janitor: Because, now you can see the back of it. See? Life is more interesting when you look at the back of things. Women, that's obvious. Baseball cards, puppet shows. Plus, you get the 3-D effect. Look at this. Hey, what's that off on the distance, a hospital of some sort? Oh, it is a hospital! No. Never mind. It took off again. Here it comes again. Watch it! Watch! It's got Terry! Everyone run! You know, it's a game.
Dr. Cox: Try again there, Chewie.
Janitor: [groans]

Dr. Cox: And done. We are the hell out of here.
Elliot: Hey there, new Chief!
Dr. Cox: Barbie, did you not see the list outside?
Elliot: I saw it. I'm a "Sometimes Allowed".
Dr. Cox: Oh, now isn't one of those times.
Elliot: Yeah, but-
Dr. Cox: Don't care. Get out.
Elliot: Man!

[After J.D. applies Wite-Out to his name on Dr. Cox's list]
J.D.: Wow! Nice digs, Perr.
Dr. Cox: Didn't you see your name on the "Never, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever" list?
J.D.: No! It's not on there.
Dr. Cox: Ted!
Ted: I'm on it.

Carla: So I asked Dr. Cox about hiring some extra nurses, and he said no.
Nelly: Did you really ask him, or did you just compliment him on his new office?
Elliot: You know what, frick them.
Carla: Frick them? I'm one of them.
Elliot: Yeah, but they're acting like a bunch of frick-heads. Sorry, about all the F-bombs.
Carla: I don't blame them for being frustrated at working here, because a lot of the times, I feel the same way. God, you are so clueless!
Elliot: You're not mad at me, you're just frustrated about something else and you're taking it out on me. I mean, it's like last night, when my favorite shoes made my toes bleed, and so I called you a frizzy-haired mega bitch. That's why we had to make the rule, that we can't just dump on each other just because we're pissy about other stuff.
Carla: We need to cancel that rule.
Elliot: Yeah, I agree. It was stupid. I hated it.

Elliot: Barb, I really just want to come by and apologize for the way I treated you earlier.
Barbara: I was planning on waiting for you in the parking lot tonight and kicking your teeth in.
Elliot: Please don't.
Nelly: Even if she tried, Carla would just swoop in and protect her doctor friend.
Elliot: Look, you guys aren't even really mad at Carla, you're just frustrated by the situation and you're taking it out on her. Carla actually had a rule about that earlier, but we cancelled it because... You know what? Probably, not that important. The point is, Carla's a nurse first. Even if it means yelling at her best friend. That's me. She said that out loud earlier. You can ask anyone. Anyway, you can either use her relationships with us as doctors to start a dialogue and make things better, or ignore me, stay pissed, and you can all hold me down at the parking lot tonight while Barb here boot-stomps the face. ... Taking a pretty long time to think about it. [Barbara makes Elliot flinch] Got me there! Thought that was what was all gonna go down.

J.D.: Look, I don't care if you have to fake a secondary infection or claim he's allergic to his medication. Mr. Vaughn needs to be back here in a bed, and you know it.
J.D.: [v.o.] I got about the answer I expected.
Dr. Cox: Get out!
J.D.: No.
Dr. Cox: Actually, you know what? Stay if you want to. I'm going to get out of this cage. And I'm gonna go out and see some patients.
J.D.: No, you're not. It's 7:00. Your day's over.