‘My Manhood’
Season 7, Episode 8 - Aired April 17, 2008
J.D. and Turk try to prove their masculinity. The Janitor starts a hospital newspaper called "The Janitorial". Meanwhile, Elliot learns that Dr. Kelso is being forced out after the birthday party she threw revealed his true age.
Quote from Turk
J.D.: So which one did you lose? Lamont or Grady?
Turk: Lamont. Now on hot days, he'll be sticking to God's leg.
J.D.: How'd it happen?
Turk: My kid kicked me in the groin and now I got testicular torsion.
J.D.: That sucks.
Turk: Lately, I've been feeling like less of a man. I think that's why I've been overcompensating with all of that remote wrestling, alpha male stuff.
J.D.: But losing a testicle is not gonna make you less of a man. Although, you do realize you'll probably be having daughters for the rest of your life, if you lost the one that makes boy babies.
Turk: [laughs] That's not really how it works, is it?
J.D.: I'm not really sure.
Turk: But still, you whooped me in public. So we got to fight again.
J.D.: Turk, have you not been listening? Sam. Role model. I have to win.
Turk: So what do you want to do?
J.D.: [v.o.] And then we had it.
Both: Rocky III freeze-frame ending!
Quote from Janitor
J.D.: [v.o.] As I showed off the cut I'd gotten from a broken jam jar, I thought about how complex the male ego is.
It can make us need constant affirmation that we're strong or even feared.
[Dr. Cox reads The Janitorial with the cover story: "Dr. Cox: Angry Aggressive & A Little Bi-Polar"]
Dr. Cox: This is brilliant.
Janitor: I thought you'd like it.
Quote from Carla
J.D.: [v.o.] It can even make us so afraid to ask for help that instead, we just quietly hope for someone to notice.
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, I told Carla your secret and we're gonna help you.
Carla: We're going to rally everyone in this hospital to stop that Board from forcing you out of your job.
Dr. Kelso: Are you in on this, too, Perry?
Dr. Cox: Nope. First time hearing it and I couldn't care less.
Carla: He'll get there.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: All right, Mrs. Cropper, I think you're gonna be fine without the antibiotics.
Mrs. Cropper: And you don't think I'll need a pelvic exam?
J.D.: Not for a cold, no.
Mrs. Cropper: Do it with the gloves off.
J.D.: Okay, either step aside or I'm gonna go through you.
Mrs. Cropper: Then you go through me. You go through me hard.
Quote from Todd
Janitor: Todd has a question.
Todd: Yes. Could I be the photographer so I have a valid excuse for wearing this?
[The Todd has a camera taped to his shoe, pointed towards a woman's dress]
Janitor: Don't ruin it.