Turk: Actually, J.D.'s been living here secretly.
J.D.: Turk, why?
Turk: Because I've got to get those judgmental eyes off me! J.D. didn't want to, I begged.
Carla: Is that true?
Turk: I didn't say that. J.D. can do my voice.
Elliot: Hey, it's getting good!
J.D.: Well, thank you! Oh, I lost it.

Carla: You three are ridiculous.
Elliot: I'm just here to grab a ride to work.
Carla: At a hospital where you don't actually work! And you?
Turk: How am I supposed to tell you I might not be ready to have a baby when you're so excited?
Carla: And you secretly moving back in here? Now, I really don't love being den mother to you three. Fine, it's like crack to me. Still, let me ask you something. Why are you three so afraid of moving on?

Turk: Dude, you're still eating those brownies?
J.D.: I don't wanna get pregnant! Shoot.

J.D.: [v.o.] But instead I was thinking about what Carla said about moving on. And I wasn't the only one.
Dr. Kelso: Well, at least there's one attending around here I can count on.
Elliot: Ah, the hell with it, Bob. I don't work here! Have a good one.
Dr. Kelso: I hate this place.
Dr. Cox: It hates you, Bob.

Carla: That's it. All my birth control pills are gone.
Turk: Not exactly. That Fig Newton you're about to eat is not only fat-free, but it's baby-free.

Carla: I just don't get it, Turk.
Turk: Look, we had sex 20 times in eight days, and I bet it's because you sensed my hesitance.
Carla: I just want a baby so badly.
Turk: Why? What's it gonna be like having a baby?
Carla: Dr. Cox says it's like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk.
Turk: Awesome!
Carla: Right? And I come from a big family, and I love that.
Turk: Me too!
Carla: And every time we sit at the kitchen table, I feel like someone's missing.
Turk: I can see him.

J.D.: This explains a lot.
Janitor: Hey! Meet your volleyball team. They're terrible.
Dr. Cox: Newbie! I heard your voice.
[J.D. hides among the cardboard cut-outs of himself. The Janitor points Dr. Cox to the real J.D.]
J.D.: Thanks for nothin', ass-face.
Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and give you back one of these man cards. You deserve it.
J.D.: Wow. Wanna hug?
Dr. Cox: You held on to it as long as you could, didn't you?
J.D.: I'm gonna have a good year, aren't I?
Dr. Cox: Anything can happen.

Dr. Kelso: Gentlemen, a reminder: As attendings, you are expected to turn in your insurance paperwork and your required urine sample by tomorrow.
Dr. Cox: Bob, I'm not planning on doing any paperwork, but I did go ahead and leave my urine sample on your driver's-side car door.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, your lips, my ass, they should meet. Dorian, after four years, I hope you are no longer following in his footsteps.
J.D.: I turned in my paperwork already, but I'm gonna wait till tomorrow to turn in my urine sample out of respect to the fellas in the lab. There's an asparagus issue.
Dr. Kelso: Now there's an answer that warrants a half-sincere pat on the shoulder.
J.D.: Thanks, Dr. Kelso! [Dr. Kelso pats J.D.'s shoulder and walks away] You know, he said "half-sincere," but I think it was full-sincere. Feel my shoulder, it's warm.

J.D.: I thought she was gone?
Turk: Nah, she came back for a quickie. All this baby stuff, I feel like she rushed me into it. I'm not sure I'm ready.
J.D.: Well, you better get ready, she's been off the pill for a week.
Turk: [guilty snicker]
J.D.: What have you done?
[flashback to Turk dropping a birth control pill in Carla's mouth as she sleeps]
Turk: Think she'll be mad?