Dr. Kelso Quote #478
Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Intern's Eyes
Dr. Kelso: Gentlemen, a reminder: As attendings, you are expected to turn in your insurance paperwork and your required urine sample by tomorrow.
Dr. Cox: Bob, I'm not planning on doing any paperwork, but I did go ahead and leave my urine sample on your driver's-side car door.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, your lips, my ass, they should meet. Dorian, after four years, I hope you are no longer following in his footsteps.
J.D.: I turned in my paperwork already, but I'm gonna wait till tomorrow to turn in my urine sample out of respect to the fellas in the lab. There's an asparagus issue.
Dr. Kelso: Now there's an answer that warrants a half-sincere pat on the shoulder.
J.D.: Thanks, Dr. Kelso! [Dr. Kelso pats J.D.'s shoulder and walks away] You know, he said "half-sincere," but I think it was full-sincere. Feel my shoulder, it's warm.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Intern's Eyes’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: Good morning, colleague.
Dr. Cox: Oh, absolutely not.
J.D.: What, tall, dark and ccary? I can wear whatever the hell I- What are you doing?
Dr. Cox: This is my new imaginary warning light. When it starts blinking, a situation has ten seconds to resolve itself before I flash white with rage and kill someone. One, two, three, four... seven, eight, nine and ten.
J.D.: I had a little trouble getting my BabyGap T-shirt off.
Dr. Cox: It'll happen.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Lindsay, by you reaching the level of attending physician, you've somehow managed to become a member of a club that I belong to. Obviously there was no vote. Because if there had been, you would still hear the sound of my voice screaming, "Nay, nay, oh, dear God, one thousand times nay!" That being said, it's my obligation to let you in on the organization's one and only bylaw: We're men.
J.D.: Yes, we are.
Dr. Cox: The women are men. The children are men. The men, of course, men! So I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five man cards. Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise, I'm going to take one from you.
J.D.: I don't need your approval or your stupid man cards. Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?
Dr. Cox: Thank you.
J.D.: Damn it!
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Patients who stay low on the heart transplant list die waiting for one. This way, he moves up to the top. Come on!
J.D.: Then why didn't you tell me?
Dr. Cox: Because you're an attending now. And that doesn't just mean a fat bank account, expensive new toys and a lawyer on retainer for when you kill a prostitute. From now on, the buck stops with you. And I know you have occasionally bent the rules in this dump over the last couple of years, but you only did it because you knew when the crap started raining down, it was damn sure gonna fall on my head. But now, the only way for you to stay out of the trouble storm is for you to go by the book. And I got news for you on that front: By-the-book attendings kill us up here. Newbie, I couldn't tell you about Kellerman 'cause I don't know what type of attending you're gonna be.
J.D.: Allow me to thank you for giving me the opportunity to prove myself. You know what? This is my last one. Here, take it. Whatever happens to this poor guy is on you.